Calling this movie feminist seems like a pretty bold take, to me. Other than baby replicant, who is comically physically fragile, the female characters are either pretty, skinny, and naked, or over 40 and aggressively desexualized. There isn’t a single woman who doesn’t function as a disposable commodity. I can buy…

I have no interest in getting married, but I’d kinda like to have a wedding so I could play Mountain Goats’ No Children at the reception. Because that would be some funny shit.

I want Closer by Nine Inch Nails at my wedding.

She looks professionally dead inside

I don’t even know her and I’m scared of Naomi Campbell.

yuno goth! mia goth! is shia goth? heno goth!

Do you live in hurricane zone? Since Katrina there are programs for 100% evac. But some people just won’t go. They need to be scared. Watch the news, you’ll see why tomorrow.

In New Orleans we have seats on trains and busses being moved out of town for those who can’t leave and a registry of who they are so nobody gets left. FEMA and Homeland administer it. You sign up in May. These programs were started after Katrina and should be everywhere. Like contra flow

THIS POST IS FOR SARANFANS ONLY!!!!!

How dare someone—a Kennedy no less!—listen to the words of not just a man, but an old man.

I wash my legs because I pee in the shower.

Did he give the rest to his mother?

“I have a very particular set of wigs.”

Word. I put my cat, Felix, on a diet one time and he was not happy about it (the fights were terrible) and one evening during the diet, one of my neighbors made me and my boyfriend some pot brownies. I told my boyfriend to make sure the brownies were put away before he went to bed because Felix was on a rampage and…

“It. Has. Everything. Disappearing taxi drivers, roving games of criminals, and that thing where someone points a gun at you and demands your wallet and no one believes you.”

I’m sorry but ...

Prince Harry marrying Kerry Washington despite Barack Obama being concerned about their dangerous boat wedding.

“All right, so we’re going to do The BFG to show off this amazing new mo-cap performance, The Jungle Book to show off amazing new animal fur texture designs, and Tarzan because I saw Skarsgård in the gym locker room and he’s just magnificent.” - Studio Execs, probably.

Oh thank god. I was going to keep posting on Jezebel whether it continued or not but if it didn’t “Jezebel” was going to consist of a series of stars I made on the bathroom floor out of cat poop and my own tears. It would have involved me standing on Santa Monica Blvd naked screeching about Ted Cruz being the zodiac…

Jezebel serves an important function as a safety release valve for frustrated white girls who hate everything except Rihanna.