"The reason I don't say I'm a feminist is because I don't believe in things because believing in one thing means I don't believe in another thing, and I don't believe in not believing in things because things divide us and if we believe in things, than we are dividing us... due to... things... that we believe in. So I…

The kid I babysit is such an open-mouthed chewer! I love this kid, but every day I ask him, "What would mom say if she saw those table manners?" One day he just snapped and yelled, "WE DON'T HAVE MANNERS HERE!"

Allahvun It

Pretty sure you just came up with next billion dollar brand right there:

We're international. WE'RE WORLDWIDE.

Right here: Fresh Sugar lip balm. Moisturizing, smooth, SPF 15 and comes in several colours (including clear). Free of parabens, sulfates and phthalates. Screw-on cap keeps it from opening in your pocket/bag.

Right here: Fresh Sugar lip balm. Moisturizing, smooth, SPF 15 and comes in several colours (including clear). Free…

"...which had already birthed three children."...

once I was out with my friends and they were talking about big dicks and I blurted out that I wasn't a fan and that I once tried to screw a guy with a big dick and it didn't fit. Then everyone laughed and one woman who was kind of the bitchy one said that MrPony must have a small package. That pissed me off and I…

Husband: Um, can I tell people that our love burned too bright and too quickly? Kind of a Candle in the Wind deal?

Can we please never ever use the phrase "just a theory" when we are talking about a hypothesis? This is why the creationists can cast doubt on evolution, because people don't understand that all important distinction.

If I get hit with a serious illness that puts me out of commission until my eventual death, I hope my SO is sleeping around. Don't let my invalid state ruin her party; she deserves something if she's spending most of her time being my caretaker.

"Yall chill she paid a speeding tick 3 days late in 2013 &license was just suspended recently&she had no idea.It's cleared up It's all good"

I don't think it's too big of a stretch to say that she is channeling an angel in the picture, and it was her highest ranked photo in the season...so, it seems pretty appropriate to me.

SULFATES. WHAT'S UP WITH THAT?

My favorite part was where she linked to another article that explained pretty convincingly that it was just makeup. But yeah, ok, "Macedonian death mask." Lets all give a patronizing "oh, honey" to Uma Thurman while we talk about how ridiculous anti-aging products for 25 year olds are.

I'm putting this on facebook ASAP.

Disagree. The cattiness has nothing to do with her beliefs and everything to do with an explanation of her show that features a line like "And then I was on top of the lion and a guy, a random guy, just looked on me with a headset that I've never communicated with before..."

That's the face I'd be making if someone were about to embarrass my wife. That's good Husband Face.