there was a bit of that at my college too. I suggested to a friend of mine that she label her booze "POISON!!" Everyone thought it was really funny and it started a trend of everyone claiming their alcohol was poisonous (which, technically, it is). We were nerds.

Personally I much prefer her argument about the cruelty of hidden births and dumping of babies to dies in the elements in comparison to abortion. It's not something articulated often but is so valid.

Yep. As a friend of mine and I were talking about ... when did the standard for "good man" get so low that he is defined by what negative things he doesn't do?

Yes! I call that arrested rage face.

This guyyyyyyyyyyy you guys. He's the WORST.

Penetration by any object associated with "violence"

Are you having trouble with your bowel movements? That is a good thing. This is the cheese binding all of the toxins into one dense brick. The more it hurts, the cleaner you will feel.

I even am praying to tiny tiny baby Jesus in his fleece diapers.

This is a brilliant idea. Leveraging rich parents' desire to buy their children everything in order to fund less rich people? That's the dream.

It Happened To A Little Girl, Born In 1582, From The Corpse Of Her Mother, Madame Colombe Charti, And Also About 299 Other People In World History, Total

are you kidding me

Actually, I didn't tell you to move, you brought up the topic of where I lived and I told you. Then I indicated that lots of people decide to live in the outer boroughs because they want more space for their kids. Then I stated that lots of parents choose to live in Manhattan and figure out how to do that without…

Going to happy hour isn't a human right. Like it sucks if having a baby means you can't go out the way you used to. I get that and do have a bit of sympathy, and it's not like I'm advocating that we should pour bar-goers with babies foamy beers or anything. I also don't think all bars in the city should ban babies…

I can tell you're a white guy from this comment, bruh.

This is Maya Angelou's LOLWUT face

I joined for the chain smoking and stayed for the holy crap I still need health insurance I was just diagnosed with lung cancer?

Yo that story is so sad. Straight up heartbreaking. Like, great, now I'm going to bed depressed.

In elementary school, the library was roped off into two sections: books for kindergarten through second grade, and third grade and up. I tell you this because of the Accelerated Reader program, which was a series of tests on books that checked reading comprehension. You could take the tests for points. Bigger, more…

Our dog was named Sonar (he is blind) by the shelter but we changed it to Claude after Claude Monet. He is totally a Claude.