Tie, homes.

Okay, I’m going to ask the question that nobody else seems to ask. How loose are your assholes to where you just stand up and shit your pants? I get having that gut-wrenching feeling of needing to shit. I get even sharting. I do not understand how you cannot hold it for the 30 seconds to get from your bedroom to your…

THUG!

Arsene Wenger blazes Js in the Arsenal dressing room.

BAH GAWD KING, THAT’S THE SHOUT SONG!

God damn it. Well, do you want to porch sit and kill a 6-pack.?Weather’s prime for it!

I live within a 6 minute walk of the Genesee Brewhouse. Been feeling pretty bummed lately, so I think this Dogbite High Gravity is just what I need. Let’s see how it plays out.

Guy on the left elbow is mad open at the end of regulation.

Or watch what the Sporting Kansas City dude did for the second goal against Portland last night. WHICH RESULTED IN HIM FUCKING SCORING!

Please let all home teams against the Giants blast Katy Perry’s “Firework” as the Giants take the field.

Maybe if Jones didn’t have the first touch of a mongoloid on that ball, this would have never happened. You’re supposed to trap that down and across the defender, not straight into him.

I am not a smart man.

so that’s why the water supply was so easily contaminated in Batman Begins!

THE HAMMER EXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

BAH GAWD KING, THAT MAN HAS A FAMILY!

With Big Pimpin’, Jay-Z’s better verse is the one that I only heard on the radio version. The one that starts with something in a canopy and stamina being enough for Pamela Anderson Lee.

I coined the nickname “Beer League Bradley” for him during WC2014. A truly pathetic performance by somebody my teammates and I thought was going to blow up the World Cup.

BAH GAWD KING!

And honestly, Bradley has been playing like utter shite since his move back to MLS.

When they offer $2 coins, it’s not that hard to do.