The board version I had of Monopoly said that while the “Free Parking” rule wasn’t officially part of the game, it was a popular “house rule” and allowed if agreed upon by all competitors.

Tyrod Taylor may be the best QB on the roster at the moment. If we get a legit QB, we’re gonna go HAM this season.

So this is where they’re going to store the pee from those Port-o-Potties at Wrigley?

That play outdoors?

Who the fuck crumbles? How would that even work?

She did not. But now I want gin and it's only 1016am.

I chose my best friend from college over my half-brother (which is different because I haven't had a constant relationship with him, like you guys do with your brothers) and everyone seemed to be cool with the explanation that I gave when I said my friend was there through thick and thin of the most important 4 years…

So what is it you say you do here?

FATALITY!

Babel fucked it up? No way!

The best part is when the bottom line instantly changes to "Zo says "Who Wants To Sex Mutombo Is Real!!!!"

Why! Tell me why!
-J.R.

Well then as long as you selfish fucks pay for it, so that I don't have to deal with a life-insurance policy that will cover something that I don't even want.

Cremation, brah. Efficiency and fire!

The violin question got me thinking: How epic would it be if ES Posthumus did a rendition of the national anthem?

Peter King blows Roger Goodell, accomplishes nothing.

WOULD YOU PLEASE REMOVE THAT GIANT BAG OF POPCORN?!?
HOW'S THE VIEW FROM KERNEL HEAVEN!

Apparently CTE can affect fans as well.

I'm picturing that Steelers fan from the late 1990s when they were still at Three Rivers Stadium. He jumped off the top part of the stands that encompassed the tunnel entrance to catch a field goal and caught it, but broke both his legs on impact.

Yeah, what multi-million pound striker do you guys need to actually make your offense work?!?! Keep crying into your barrels of oil money.