Unless Killer Mike told Kemp they would burn the state to the ground if he rigged another election, I don’t see the sense in this meeting. 

The irony of someone saying “stupid name” and they are named Dave is amazing. 

I miss my Jimmy in the worst possible way. 

I vote like if I had the money, and it was near enough that I wouldn’t have to pay shipping/plane tickets, would it be a NP or CP to me. I don’t vote for anyone else, theoretical or otherwise.

We appreciate you! A highly efficient traveler is a rare trait these days.

I hate reading and hearing about Kanye West. He is a major doofus.

MLB instructed the home team to wear alternate jerseys so the president is the only obvious white national in the stadium.

My best guess is that we will stop hearing my take shortly before we stop hearing your response.

“The absolute best sequence of the whole night saw Jericho tape Darby’s hands behind his back, only for the underdog to resolutely continue attacking with his high-flying abilities.”

Fans might take the game more seriously if it weren’t being called Snyder-Man: Homecoming

I’d like to start a petition.. if the Dolphins go 0-16 then we no longer have to witness the 1972 Dolphins celebrate when the last undefeated team losses... watching them celebrate is insufferable.  

“This is exactly how you win a game, just run every play. Keep ‘em guessing because they’re gonna expect you to throw it eventually, but they’ll be wrong.”

I shall invent a device that alerts Dolphins fans when they are being erroneously charged for purchases. It will emit a Dolphin-call shriek if a skimmer is used to rack up a fraudulent charge. I will call it “the Miami Sound Machine.”

A reminder that the Broncos were rather recently Super Bowl champs with a stacked roster and one of the best defenses in the history of the sport. All they needed was a half-decent quarterback, Kaepernick wanted to go there, and Elway was willing to have him. But Elway insisted the Niners pay most of his salary…

Same. Everything is so snowflake now. These dudes need to toughen up. I used to get knocked out hard in games, all the time. But I’m no pussy. I just got back up, shook it off, and got right back in the ring. Which she wore on her finger, after I proposed, you know, but who knows, maybe it was a toe. Like that one tow…

Man the steelers really got themselves a cheap very productive player.

Awwwwwwwwww

Counterpoint: Charlotte Hornets.

But why would Dolphins fans be burning Charlotte Hornets jackets?