It's really like that. He is currently obsessed with the This Old House guys on PBS, too.

One of my karate students found out that I’d gotten laid off from my day job, and asked “Why don’t you just work from home?” He didn’t quite grasp that there must be a job to work at, even if you stay at home and do it. It was adorable.

Adorasad?

om nom. nom nom nom.

This is both sad and adorable. Sadorable?

My father was a helicopter pilot in the Army. It was the mid/late 80s so he’d leave for 4 months at a time to go to Honduras and Ecuador. When he’d be home for a few months, I’d greet him in the driveway with a beer so he couldn’t be called away to fly again. I was in elementary school.

I think you’re not getting what I mean... My kid doesn’t even KNOW to say “don’t go be Lannister Handjob*” he is like “don’t go help people in their garden stay and play all day forever!” because three year olds don’t have a great grasp on time or what I do. But people call their mama BRITNEY SPEARS all day, every…

These give me life. Thank you for collecting them and then putting them in one place for me.

This girl has been owning her exes in her music and the press for like eight years now. Calvin, you knew what you were getting into. No pity here!

I loved her before it became a TwitterInstaWorld.

Completely unnecessary post: I know Gilbert Gottfried in real life. I used to work with his wife, who I had a crush on. My heart was broken in 1996 when she told me via AOL chat she was secretly “Dating the parrot from ‘Aladdin’ “

Maybe some of the politicians are having . . human feelings? Like, maybe they have had enough and are so sad about all the beautiful human lives that have been taken & finally care more about other human beings than “playing it safe” to make sure they get reelected? I hope that is it.

Skip those grays...except me...I’m fucking delightful.

Well, yes, eventually.

What’s the opposite of shame?

PRIDE...IN A POLITICIAN. I feel so dirty.

I’m....proud? Of the Democrats?? IS THAT AN EMOTION PEOPLE FEEL???!?!?

That’s people realizing politeness is only getting people more dead and threatened by the rule of a fascist cheeto.

It is almost like...respect. BUT THAT CAN NOT BE...