There are two kinds of fire hydrants in the world. Wet barrel hydrants and dry barrel hydrants.

“The picture quality was truly horrible”

reporters report the facts of a story.

Buying the on-ride video for him was honestly the perfect way of saying thanks.

One of my main takeaways from this Labor Day weekend is how fucking awesome it is to sing with a bunch of drunk nerds “White and Nerdy” is. Probably the highlight of my first Dragon Con

I wouldn't be able to resist taking this zippy car on a circuit. 

Current speculation is that it’ll be shocking, so expect some resistance.

I want to gay-marry Iceland now.

♪♫ They see me mowin’ my front lawn ♪♫

I generally remember the weird al lyrics over the normal lyrics anyways (You’re Pitiful in particular, generally I get like two lines into the normal lyrics only to switch to the weird al lyrics mid sentence.)

If this becomes a thing, I might have to get medieval on your heiney…

Saw Weird Al earlier this year in concert - I highly recommend everyone see him at least once.  My wife hated it but the show was amazing - production value second only to Marilyn Manson.  

It was a joke, not a dick. Stop taking it so hard.

Or you could just take it at its face value as a bad joke, and not meant to be factual. 

ICELAND IS PRACTICING GAY CONVERSION THERAPY!

You’d be shocked. 

Dadjoke Triple Whammy

Yes, but watt do they charge for such an environmentally positive service?

Here’s an even more nightmarish one: if he loses in 2020, he’d be eligible to run again in 2024.

This and reindeer jerky place Iceland on the very tip-top of civilization.