Reports failed to mention that, after leaving the birth canal, Ms. Thompson's third child proceeded to stand up and repeatedly punch Newton in the balls for being dumb enough to rob a woman that badass.

YouTube it. YouTube it now. Kitchen nightmares Amy's Baking Company. It will change your life.

The inability for folks to simply at once say, "This is a free space, we promote creativity and sharing and community," and "Publishing, sharing, gawking at, and promoting illegally acquired photographs of nude and/or underage women and men in no way fits with in those things we are attempting to foster here."

Ugh, one thing I do not miss about campus life. My old roommate had the awesomest glitteriest response sign ever that said "Have a Gay Day!" that he waved around while making-out with his boyfriend. If we could find a way to harness the energy of their rage we could solve climate change tomorrow!

There are no dues. You just have to be snarky and write your own passive-aggressive post-it notes.

I hope I can meet more people as amazing as you.

Tell me. Where do I sign up for your fanclub? And what are the dues?

I salute you, my friend. Badass.

I am really proud of you too.

I had to deal with some of these fuckers when they came to my campus on Wednesday, showing off pictures of dead fetuses. They screamed at me, and came uncomfortably close. They also told me my parent's interracial and interfaith marriage was going to go to hell. And that I dishonored them for being gay. So I made a…

Wait, if you dry hump people you can get free cake?! I know how I'm spending my weekend!

DISSENTING OPINION: I remain convinced Gaston is one of those dudes with a tragically enormous dick, who thinks that his huge schlong means he has to do zero work in the sack. He just bumps your cervix for five minutes then rolls over and congratulates himself for being such a superior cocksman.

He's a real fox.

I want to know how awkward this conversation got when someone brought up that the hottest disney dude is actually Robin Hood.

Anybody who thinks it's hypocritical for us to hate rape and like sex isn't very good at thinking.

Being non-consensually assailed with violent, graphic imagery of rape porn is not even close to the same thing as voluntarily looking at porn that appeals to you.

"Someday my prince will cum."

The whole time we were working on this, I couldn't get this out of my head:

Finally, a Disney Princess post I give a damn about.

No one's slick as Gaston