You can tell because there's two of them. Whenever there's two of something, the two are actually the same. South Park said so

Three hundred and fifty dollars is not a good amount of money to spend on earbuds.

Whatever, he deserves that and more.

That would refer to rolls of money. Not being able to figure that out isn't really a point of pride

Occasionally someone beats the shit out of him, but for the most part he just sits and waits. I hope he gets last pick of the books, too. I hope he's dead broke when he gets out and just gets to think about his choices.

That's what happened

Criticizing virtue signaling is 100% virtue signaling. "Hey everyone, look how cool and smart I am for seeing through this bullshit and not being a sheep like everyone else!"

Assuming it cools down at all (it was a fucking hundred and six or something yesterday) and I don't feel like a jerk for making my computer do stuff, I'll be back on that PlUnkBat train. I was playing doubles with my buddy, and "we" actually won a fucking match for the first time. I was dead at the time, but it was…

Your package from amazon is gon' be laaaAAAAAte

If I could afford one ton of lawyers, you'd better believe I'd have that

Yeah, knowing stuff is gay, that's one of the only things you're allowed to know. I was a pretty dorky kid in an area that didn't really encourage that shit, and it was really rough. Most people eventually came around, because I tend to like to learn stuff that's interesting to relate to people and slightly older…

Yeah, can't really disagree with any of that. A mutated and perverted patriotism is guiding us toward irrelevance and eventual self destruction, and because it pisses off the liberals, it's the best thing they've ever seen.

It's that right win projection you always hear about. Kids need to harden the fuck up because the world isn't a safe space, WAIT WHAT THE FUCK how dare you act like climate change is settled science in little jimmy's science class, I am going to sue

In my experience, the right's ground is usually "destroy democrats and their policies wherever possible and cut some regulations when you're done with that." I wish the left and right were arguing about which health care bill would help the most people, that would be incredible. We don't live in that reality,…

If I'm being honest, I'm finding it hard to properly care any more. I read the news and I try to understand what's going on, but it's becoming increasingly clear that this is what we signed up for.

Fuck a chicken, if that's what it takes. Watch a chicken fuck a horse.

My dad was a biology teacher who would get angry parents yelling at him for teaching evolution. That was in the nineties. Teach the controversy was stupid back then and it has only gotten worse

One of the truest things I've ever heard:

Green tea or fuck off

Those green tea ones you get at Asian grocery stores are baller