Man the last thing you want in your pre-tolerance, nobody-knows-how-to-pour-this drink is a bunch of texture.

For the longest time I had orbitz and zima twisted around in my brain, so orbitz didn't exist and zima had little balls in it.

This is what I like least about Rick and Morty. They have some legitimately cool stuff in there sometimes, but people just lose their minds over the catchphrases

That last point strikes me as an extremely intentional choice on the part of the White House. They do five fuckups in a work week, you have a hard time doing a deep dive about what happened last Saturday. Dude tweets shit about a trans ban that isn't even binding policy, loads of people get distracted and now…

It really does take some next-level insecurity to feel the need to write your name on your caddy

Yeah actually. There are a lot of people who I can look at and go "wow, this guy knows a lot more than I do about this form and has way better taste." I'm medium-to-quite stupid on a good day, and I have a lot of respect for people that aren't

I don't know if I can call it disappointing, just because I've known this my whole life. When I was a kid it was children and adults taking professional wrestling deadly seriously, now it's this. I wish it were better, but it's never been a flat-out surprise that we suck, it's just more that we find new and exciting…

We're a nation of people that get really mad and go "well how is what you like better" when confronted with our mediocrity

No see so it subverts the chant of "we're number one" that you hear every day, and "number two" is a secret code word for poop, and the guy saying it is a poop! Do you get it now? It works on so many levels!

There are smarter, better people who could be doing that work

I've got a squad of four and we're trying to get across this bridge, the blue is slowly closing in. We get to the the near side and realize it's been blocked, so we all pile out of the jeep and get into a nasty little firefight. Out of nowhere a couple dudes on a motorcycle with side car blow right past us at top…

Well they also told us we wouldn't always have a calculator. Teachers are there to get you up to speed on the curriculum, they don't tend to take a long view of emerging trends

I think that's what happened to me. I'm 28 but we had computers at home pretty early on. I already had bad penmanship and then I also had a tool that would let me deliver a more legible product in less time, so it made sense to just do the thing I was already good at.

Yeah my shit is pretty down there, I've never really understood why. I'm above average at several other dexterity tasks, I type on anything faster than most people and I'm good with a kitchen knife, I flipped a lot of balisongs when I was a teen, but penmanship has never been a strong suit. Definitely can't draw. I…

I've got this one really good friend who's kind of a "go to work and then go home" type most of the time, but I swear he's been coming to parties more often because we're all constantly playing with him.

Take the plunge, you'll never look back. It's expensive and a little confusing up front, but the games run a little cheaper on sales and you get to play all the cool weird shit like this. Plus there's free or cheap little indie games for daaaaayyysss

I don't think you're going to be seeing a sale any time soon. This thing is pretty much glued to the number one spot on the steam charts.

I believe they're planning on console releases once it's out of early access. They're talking about having cross platform play, which as a keyboard and mouse guy, I hope they don't do or it won't be fair for you.

It's totally worth the thirty bucks if you've got the rig for it. I recommend talking some buddies into it, solo and squad are completely different games, squad is way more fun and way more forgiving.

Plunkbat (as I like to call it) is basically day z without all the stupid shit you didn't like about day z. The field of play is always either shrinking or about to, which does a great job at getting rid of that "I've been playing for six hours and haven't seen anybody" problem. Everyone on a server starts at the…