Taylor Swift at Burning Man:

Yeah, it isn’t like I ever lived with the woman myself. It’s just an impression I first began to gather years ago, when she referred to her having hit a woman with her car, severely injuring the victim, as “MY tragedy.”

I love me some Halle, but it’s pretty well known at this point that she is a nightmare person with some significant issues.

I doubt it’s a matter of luck. Halle has always struck me as being a genuine narcissist. It’s virtually impossible to have a successful relationship with one of those.

FTFY. You’re welcome.

I’d do him. I’ll shave halfway and we can meet (and do other things) in the middle, if ya know what I’m sayin’.

THIS. Jalopnik needs more of this, and this would have made a great reality show!

I think this falls under Fair Use because it’s parody.

One, it’s “ideologue,” and secondly, many Western nations have come to the conclusion that the death penalty reflects poorly on a civilized society regardless of how “deserving” a criminal is.

Major Burt Reynolds fabulosity from the cop in the arrest photo!

Hold on a second. I have a few questions here.

No, that’s crap. That’s not at all what she was saying, and you know better than that.

Nope. Best practices for suicide reporting recommend not using “committed,” which sounds like a crime or, to religious communities, like a sin, and “kill yourself” is just insensitive, crude, and poorly phrased. “Died by suicide” is the phrasing recommended by mental health professionals and the American Foundation…

“died by suicide” has to be one of the sloppiest phrases I’ve heard in awhile. You commit suicide or you kill yourself. Suicide is a motive, not a method.

J-Lo’ is kinda terrifying.

I don’t know who that is but she looks STUNNING.

I’ll admit that woman made a pretty stupid statement, and the state of the American educational system is fucked, but goddamn, I’m tickled pink to read a comment from a German who, without a trace of irony or self-awareness, states that he wants someone arrested for saying what she thinks. Great shit, man. Thanks for…

Hmmm you’re right. Although I don’t think a comma would have fixed it. I should have gone with “Considering the cops yesterday arrested Kevin Moore, who filmed the Freddie Gray arrest”

CURSE YOU ENGLISH. YOU’RE SO DIFFICULT AFTER A FEW BEERS.

I once ate a whole watermelon at a summer camp I worked for in high school. It was a boredom thing, mostly. I think I was also trying to impress a female counselor (who wasn’t present, but I hoped would hear about the event), which gave me the required motivation to work through that fucking rind. The rind tastes bad,…

Should we talk about that pig eating his watermelon on wall-to-wall carpeting in somebody’s home? Also, I hate the hippos’ handler.