FTFY. You’re welcome.

I’d do him. I’ll shave halfway and we can meet (and do other things) in the middle, if ya know what I’m sayin’.

THIS. Jalopnik needs more of this, and this would have made a great reality show!

Nope. Best practices for suicide reporting recommend not using “committed,” which sounds like a crime or, to religious communities, like a sin, and “kill yourself” is just insensitive, crude, and poorly phrased. “Died by suicide” is the phrasing recommended by mental health professionals and the American Foundation…

“died by suicide” has to be one of the sloppiest phrases I’ve heard in awhile. You commit suicide or you kill yourself. Suicide is a motive, not a method.

J-Lo’ is kinda terrifying.

I don’t know who that is but she looks STUNNING.

I’ll admit that woman made a pretty stupid statement, and the state of the American educational system is fucked, but goddamn, I’m tickled pink to read a comment from a German who, without a trace of irony or self-awareness, states that he wants someone arrested for saying what she thinks. Great shit, man. Thanks for…

Hmmm you’re right. Although I don’t think a comma would have fixed it. I should have gone with “Considering the cops yesterday arrested Kevin Moore, who filmed the Freddie Gray arrest”

CURSE YOU ENGLISH. YOU’RE SO DIFFICULT AFTER A FEW BEERS.

I once ate a whole watermelon at a summer camp I worked for in high school. It was a boredom thing, mostly. I think I was also trying to impress a female counselor (who wasn’t present, but I hoped would hear about the event), which gave me the required motivation to work through that fucking rind. The rind tastes bad,…

Should we talk about that pig eating his watermelon on wall-to-wall carpeting in somebody’s home? Also, I hate the hippos’ handler.

half the animals here wish it were the head of the person feeding them the watermelon

I so agree. You are my new favorite friend I have never met. Butter is a beverage in our family. 😄

Excellent advice. Did you know that Plugra is made in the US? It’s def French style, but it’s made in the heartland. I would recommend unsalted butter, too. If the butter needs seasoning, I would rather control that myself.

I should mention - I used some very sticky buds, not shake. THC adhered very nicely with the fat in the butter. I made about a quart. It tasted like weed tea, honey and butter. The sweet and dairy bounced off the astringent weed flavor very well. It’s important to use a high quality butter - one suitable for baking.

That kid is a very good sport!

You ain't gonna hold the video landscape, then I'm smacking your kid.

One time a boyfriend of mine was fingering my butt and I farted and it blasted his finger out of my b-hole. He thought it was hilarious. Sexy times continued.

I heard a story about a tinder hookup where one of the people let a huge stanky ass fart rip while some butt stuff was going down.

Oh, the wind-releasing pose, which leads to what I call the "fartorchestra," which is guaranteed to happen every week in my yoga class.