That donkey is so cute. Shut up sing-song lady, Donkey would like to enjoy his goddamned watermelon in peace. To hell with Susie and her truck.

My sense of smell works overtime as it is, so I’m not sure I could handle that. I’ve had my locker moved at the gym twice because of how rank the guy next to me let his gear get. They were both smoking hot, too, so I missed seeing them naked as much. Go figure.

He’s a disgusting pig (I wouldn’t think so if he were gay, I'd just think he was like any sex-addicted gay dude) but Tucker Max’s story of first time anal is hilarious.

Santorum, all grown up.

At the risk of sounding naive—which is laughable in and of itself—what's a food baby? My mind is reeling with possibilities.

We have bonded over butter! Which reminds me—have you tried the Bulletproof Coffee yet? I have not, as I believe it would send me straight to the bathroom.

Exactly, I meant to say unsalted! And yes, it’s made right here. We used to get 50# boxes of European butter for the pastry kitchen and 50# boxes of American butter for the hot line. We’d always just say Plugra to distinguish between the two. But now I've discovered Kerrygold. I swear I could eat that stuff like…

Use unsalted Kerrygold Irish or Plugras butter from France. The flavor is amazing and the water content is much lower. For the pot, I like to get a variety with herbal/citrus/fruit aromas as opposed to licorice/pine/eucalyptus notes, because I don’t want my butter to taste like Vick’s Vaporub. But I have even made…

Children...with their soft ringlets of chestnut colored hair, their big, limpid eyes the color of the rarest aquamarine...their cute toothy grins, with Kool-aid colored mustaches...

Lousy follow through too. Keep the camera on the kid, dad.

He's so cute! And his dad got quite a chuckle out of seeing his little boy get fish-slapped.

Isn't the Kinsey Institute at Indiana University? That seems so odd in light of recent news. Imagine those cupcake Christians watching the stuff that went down in his research center.

Big leathery balls. Those things would never slip on in.

Probably not, but my Peppery Schwantz is always taking applications....

Looks like mostly potatoes and just a little meat.

If rawhide=chew toys, and rawhide=animal skins, then animal skins=chew toys. Bongos are covered in animal skins, therefore bongos are chew toys.

Yeah...but most of these are REALLY UGLY penises. Especially those zombie looking Penis Brothers.

"Bay" Sorry, fans.

My thought was this: Given that the pilots survived, and conveniently ignoring the distruction of very expensive property, that's a streak of fiery technological drama that would make Michael "Nothing But Fx" Bay jealous.

I just wonder if the birds in the cage are helping with his breathing problems.