I know that being an asshole to people just because they like something you don’t isn’t anything new on the internet, but I don’t think I’ve ever seen someone get THIS offended by the fact that some people like to watch wrestling.

As a sign of solidarity, Wambach’s former teammate Hope Solo murdered a homeless man.

I used time-outs, but not really as punishment. They were used when one of my kids needed to calm themselves down, because they were becoming more and more overwrought, usually because they were caught in some sort of emotional feedback loop (Something happened, I’m upset, that makes me upset, now I’m MORE upset,…

Calling that for my gutterpunk band name.

Furikake? Is this Bukkake’s cousin? Keep your hipster ass bullshit away from my popcorn and let me have my salt and butter.

My problem with almost any sauce is it makes the popcorn moist and chewy instead of properly crunchy. I imagine this could be fixed with a spritzer delivery device but I don’t happen to have one lying around the house.

In Chicago they have something called the Chicago Mix...which sounds like a vile abomination but is actually quite delicious: sweet caramel and salty cheddar flavors combined in equal parts.

But the question is: when we say “butter,” do we mean “butter, like from a stick” or “‘butter,’” like at the movie theater?” I know that real butter is “better,” but, man, movie theater popcorn...

Also there is no such thing as early April Fools’; you get April 1 and that is it.

I can’t stop watching this loop due to the fact that a 5-6 year old already has one of the prettiest swings since griffey Jr.

I’m surprised they didn’t call it “Drive The Limit Or We’ll Punch These Queers”.

Tyga and his landlord are not in a great place right now.

I’m pretty sure I have more wire strippers laying around than clothespins and pencil sharpeners combined.

this picture is an affront to my senses. They are all so aggressively mugging, it would be digestible if it were just 1 or 2 of them, but all grouped together I feel like I just broke a wine glass and they are all mad at me or something.

I truly believe that no one has the slightest clue whether Griffin is good or not.

“Hey, great win out there.”

Whoa, Midlothian? I had to reread that, I’m so used to stories from Midwest or California or whatever. It’s neat to see at least one other Jalop from/in Chesterfield County. (Well I grew up there, I’m not there anymore).

The NFL wants you to get your “highs” in the old-fashioned, manly way: by slamming your head repeatedly into another man until your brain doesn’t work right.

Isn’t it supposed to flash if something is critically wrong?

Keystone Light? I thought you won...