Like Kirk Cousins’ passes, this joke went over my head. 

The poise seems to get around like Antonio Cromartie. 

Maybe Glen Taylor’s long game is entertaining Dan Gilbert long enough for Butler to rescind his trade demand. 

Lamar Jackson’s route looks like when you’re heading into the kitchen at night and almost step on a cockroach. 

The NFL’s increased attention to player safety: one step forward, one awkward step to the side, one buckled knee. 

The worst part is that Gordon might really be the answer for them. If it didn’t involve what might personally be relapse and probably mean the loss of millions of future earnings, it’d be real hard not to root for Gordon to seek out some solace from Belichick’s bitching with a bit of weed.

That standard isn’t set though. Thomas will command less return in a trade with every game that passes over the course of the season. 

Hey, I am talking about it. Just one minute after you and in a different place.

Butler decorates his place with the same poster as both of my college roommates.

I liked your goddamn joke, okay! And I like this one too.

ahem, second goddam chapter if I remember correctly.

General feeling of denseness is a nice memoir title. 

God really hates Tyrod. 

Pretty sure any beef with Stephen Jackson has probably been on the counter too long. 

It’s hard to say just how much better I would feel about this story if the resolution had involved a hot nurse rather than my mother. It’s suggestive that I would have preferred my father prying into my scrotum with a small knife. 

Once when I was a kid I got a tick on my balls. I tried to pull it out with tweezers, but the tick broke in half, and the head remained buried in the scrotum skin. My dad was traveling for work so I had to ask my mom for help.

That GIF! It’s a twelve yard completion for -5 yards. That’s incredible.

How can this comment be so hot when it’s also so cold?

Is it even possible that you think you saw what you describe here? Or do you just feel obligated as a Falcons fan to renarrate anything negative?

My favorite part is imagining how these records work despite all these teams playing each other twice.