I think the most tragic thing about how the ending of Manning’s career has happened, and the numbness in the fingers, and noodle armed interceptions, and that fear that he will actually die when he gets sacked, and getting so close to Favre’s win record, and the last few teams so close to a Super Bowl victory, is the…

Must be nice not to be in the grays.

Staging a fight with a mascot: so easy a caveman could do it.

That’s why you should just watch the cheerleaders.

If you knew your somewhat plausible history, you’d know the Vikings came before Snyder’s ancestors.

Carolina is, however, a great place for Cousins to have a great time.

That’s nothing. Most Texans fans would kill to forget their team’s last 14 plays.

“Woah. Dunked on two hoops at once!”

KG:

*Piano Man: A Discourse on the Keys to Black and White Harmony in the Media Age

Big deal. Washington’s Cousins has been crafting 3 point possessions for almost a year now.

How was your commute?

Mother always said husky was my problem too.

You mean to tell me that the players’ sexting experience made them ineligible to play against Discovery Canyon?

“dry-aging them in a meat locker and getting them ready to play in the NFL”

NASA is recruiting a class of new astronauts, and anybody can apply starting in December.

If they really want to expedite this process they should talk to Walter Palmer.

You think one sponge can really sop up this whole mess?

[Jeb Bush] Gets email. Forwards it to his brother to prove people still know that he exists.

Yawn... Tell me when he wins a playoff game with the flu.