Satan himself would be jealous of how hot this take was.

Doesn't this player already exist?

Um yeah...I had a sales kit on my desk with a picture on the cover similar to this and well I'll just say, TRIPPY

I don't know which is more impressive. That jacket or homeboy's pants

Little cold out?

Wait, so you're telling me they shoot hotdogs in the stands with a gun?

But...

What you did with that headline...I see it

Is that outfit not a bit racy for an 11 year old golfer?

Am I the only one here that has a hard time believing ole "Slickback" is a big Star Wars fan?

Is no one here going to address what we're all thinking?

Brock Holt would've found it

Seriously is there anything Brock Holt can't do?

ESPN has just struck a lucrative sponsorship deal with a guy whose first internet venture was based on taking creepy pictures of young girls and then posting them on the internet,

WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT THING IN THE BACKFIELD?!?!?!

No JerryWorld?

I've listened to Olberman, Kurkjian, Olney and countless others tell their Gwynn stories but damn this was by far the coolest I've read. I can only imagine what you felt yesterday.

On a scale of 1 to Ricky Bobby, how quick would you kick that dude's ass if he was sitting in front of you?

Jose Canseco immediately contacts team for a tryout

Has anyone thrown him out yet?