OMG HOW DARE SHE?

I’ve heard this woman is now getting harassed online by Beyonce’s fans because how dare she lean in front of Queen B for a few seconds! People are terrible.

I gave up wearing heels when I was like 25. fuck that noise. 

Make men wear heels. Problem solved.

I don’t really have a point, but this just needed to be posted.

My style guru just assured me via text that this is correct. Apparently, per her, there are two inviolable rules when wearing multiple denim pieces:

I wasn’t too thrilled about Hereditary, and this isn’t doing much for me. I get that it’s a horror movie and people make dumb decisions, but if I HAD to go to a festival, that shit better have corporate branding all over and a website, at least. Anything less than that, it’s a cult.

Aaaaah! Someone point me to the spoilers so I can read what happens but never watch this scary movie.

Never have I fought with or hated a loved one more than when assembling IKEA furniture. It’s the ultimate relationship test.

Imagine the horror when they’re forced to assemble cheap furniture with only pictographic instructions and a hex key.

I’m not a mom, but 99% of my female friends and relatives are, and I see them all picking one of those categories and really leaning in hard. Most of them are either the ‘quirky/naughty mom’ or the ‘I’m so brave to be honest about what a hot mess mom I am’ mom. I’ve wondered if it’s b/c when we were kids, moms were…

I am a mom, and it is obnoxious.

Maybe its because I’m not a mom but this all sounds really obnoxious. 

The original Nokia phone and a surprisingly reasonable Cingular plan.  

Does this mean Dane Cook never existed?

Keeping Zuul happy probably isn’t a bad idea.

Ummm...excuse me...*whispers*...the cheese is already done at that point.

Maybe it’s just because I’m an old, but I don’t think any of these influencers (gag) look fresh-faced: they all look like they’re 10 years older trying to look their actual age. (Does that make sense? She looks like she’s late 20's/early 30's trying to look 20.) It’s weird. Maybe it’s the crazy contouring or filters…

One thing I’m really interested in (assuming we all last that long) is what do these “influencers” look like in 5 or 10 years? I already can’t believe that people give a shit what type of makeup Aunt Becky’s teenage daughter wears, but one she ages out of the slightly older sister demo, who is going to listen to her?…