I’m giving you a star not for the quality of the joke, but for how long of a road you walked to get there.

*Closes laptop thoughtfully, wipes away a tear, considers life for a moment, reopens laptop, types away furiously*

The most underrated band of the ‘90s was Poop Towel.

Our shenanigans are cheeky and fun, their shenanigans are cruel and tragic. 

Having never been touched like that by a woman before, it was all he could do to prematurely eject her.

More like Jalen Helps am i right folks

pretty easy - just grab ‘em by the hot dish

Like most people, they criticize in others what they secretly despise about themselves, you fat asshole. 

Well this is stupid. It wont let you post unless you have an active subscription....

These owners really need to stick to sports.

If we HAVE to stand for a specific song, and HAVE to put our hands on our hearts or risk getting jacked are we really free?

it would absolutely whip ass if this guy was eaten alive by a bear or something

I come here for sports and this big whiny article is the final straw. I tried to contact your new ownership to let them know but I couldn’t find anything.

It’s always tough to tell, with the anonymity the internet provides, but I’m starting to suspect that Elisabeth Maria and Elisabeth Maria are the same person.

This comment looks like two people having sex. 

Probably because you didn’t read the article.

He’s been giving him boxing lesson since he was in utero

Really, you just need to look at his background to see where this stuff comes from:

I’ve never seen anything blown up so fast in Oklahoma City.
-Mayor David Holt