Because she’s LYING ABOUT BEING BLACK.

Please watch the videos i *assume* her husband made for her. Watch them before they are removed forever

I’m 95% sure this is just Daniel Day Lewis Prepping for a role.

My first thought was Toni Home Perm using the xsmall rods. I know this because my mom did it to me. She was going for a “Shirley Temple” look (WTF). After we cut it off I had to endure a full year of “and what will the young gentleman be having” I’m not saying it lead directly to the divorce. But I’m not saying it…

Oh my god - that was my first laugh-out-loud of the season, and it was like three minutes in. There have been so many thus far! Like Taystee referencing Cedric Diggory and Black Cindy asking “Who’s that?!” and Taystee and Pousseey nonchalantly (and in unison) saying “Harry Potter.”

Fuck I love Barack Obama and i’m not even American.

Yes and from that Milhouse episode, we got a gem in this:

I had a GRAND vision for my senior portraits. I was really into Judy Garland and attempted to recreate her ‘Get Happy’ look from Summer Stock. I just KNEW that this photo was going to be pure artistic expression...

Oh hello 1996.

Broke and resourceful as I am, a friend took my senior photos on her Nokia and we edited them all on Paint. It was an uphill battle to get the yearbook staff to actually allow this (“WE NEED A CLEAR PHOTO OF YOUR FACE”, “NO PICTURES TAKEN WITH CAMERA PHONES/EDITED WITH PAINT”), but I eventually made it.

PUT DEMS IN MY MOUFS!

My dang grandkids showed me how to DVR Matlock but I can’t figure out how to program it on my giant universal remote.

Gotta get home in time for Matlock at 5:00!

What’s it gonna take to get you in this 1999 Dodge Neon today, honey?

I’m planning on giving birth to a tiny used car salesman. #goals

Expecting a new baby? How passe. I prefer old babies. Old babies give you a Werther’s Original and then take you out to dinner at the buffet at 4 o’clock.

This is Sunflower Farm up in Cumberland Maine! I visited on mothers day and was able to hold the baby goats! The people who own the farm are super nice and have visiting hours during the spring so everyone can hold baby goats! Here is their latest video they posted on facebook.

I’m high. And my report back is this:

How is this possible, or legal, to have this much cuteness in the world!!!!!!!!? I LOVE baby goats more than anything but now that I have seen baby goats in strawberry jam jams this must be my new favorite thing.

This farm is about 30 minutes from my house. I want to go steal them pet them.