My best friend’s mom needed a kidney and no one we knew was a match. So my friend and I gave genetic information to the Univ of Neb Med Center and they submitted it to the Paired Donation database. Turned out I matched a guy in Iowa (who needed a kidney) and my friend’s mom matched his wife (who was a willing donor).…

Lay-offs in Joke Fact-Checking Department Inspire Award-Winning Novel About Man Grappling With Masculinity, Identity in End-Of-Men Era

Uhmmm I think the idea of bracelets that synchronize with music sounds like an AWESOME idea, even without them saving lives. I want one.

I know this is kinda mean, but whatever: Jim Bob has always reminded me of a ham wearing a toupee. There is just something about his face that is so ham-like.

I am having SERIOUS FEELINGS about whatever Chrissy Teigan has done up there with bread and cheese.

OK, look. So I know it’s unseemly to gloat about something like this, but I FUCKING CALLED THIS when he was named Speaker of the House in 1999. I told my then boyfriend/now husband that I thought he looked like a child molester back then and he was so offended that I would say something like that about a loyal public…

Freaker of the House.

Taylor Swift has chunks of Katy Perry in her shit. I predict this will not go well for KP.

I shamefully confess that Ben could definitely get it.

Interesting topic. I think at its root, feminism is about choice. There are those of us who buy in to fashion and those of us who don’t. There isn’t one “model” of feminism. Am I less of a feminist because I chose to dye my hair and wear makeup? Am I less of a feminist because I chose to wear nice fitting clothes?

I am a woman who is single and financially independent, and if I consult a fashion magazine to try the “newest makeup look,” that’s my damn business. I am a human with critical thinking skills who can read Cosmo and appreciate that they’re trying to make a difference in politics for women, but they may have stupid…

Yes, yes, we can all agree it’s awful.

DO IT. I love the name Ursula, although in part it is because it’s the name of the main character in one of my favorite books (Life After Life, by Kate Atkinson). Also, Ursula the Sea Witch was the baddest bitch in the game and had a knack for contract law.

Doesn’t anybody do coke anymore?

please god, please let wakka flakka flame try and sue someone for trademark infringement.

There is nothing I want to do three days straight including:

Look,

Since Mark mentioned Ambien: Craziest Ambien story? One of my tamer stories is when I made a chopped salad about 2 hours after I had “fallen asleep”. Ingredients: two protein bars roughly chopped. Random amounts of the following: golden raisins, almonds; both slivered and sliced, mini chocolate chips, mini…

There’s a typo on the Jordin Sparks thing. It should read Jaaaassoooon duruuuuulo

I have a theory that if you were to take a sharpie and connect the dots on that beautiful man’s face freckles, there would be written the ultimate secrets of the universe.