Ha, yes! 8 million years ago, when I was in h.s., my friend’s mom brought me back a pair of edible undies from vacation (as a joke!). They were exactly fruit roll-ups. I know this because one day I got really hungry and ate them while I was driving somewhere.

Maybe, for a second, the clot moved.

I have said this before and it never stops being true: Donnie sounds like someone trying to have a serious conversation on a ball of cocaine. I really can’t listen to him talk, and when I read the shit he said, he sounds like a puppy that has too many shiny objects and noise makers around it.

Me on a conference call when someone suddenly says my name and asks for my thoughts after 45 minutes of doing anything else but listening.

This is a beta-test for Ivanka’s national child-care program

Baby girl, I’m pretty wild. I’m a webcam model. I’ve tried a lot of things.

I’m in the BDSM community and that’s definitely only something that should be said if both parties have expressed equal interest in it already. Since he sprang it on you and sex has been pretty vanilla so far I can see that being a big red flag. Not for sure, he may just not have tact but the most important thing in…

I totally read that, and most certainly imagined that as porn squad.

Rumor has it the cheerleaders were also part of a pyramid scheme.

There’s a recipe for armadillo that requires a nice cedar plank. You clean and place the armadillo meat on that plank and then spice the hell out of it. Stick the meat and the plank on the grill for about 4 hours, take it out of the fire, place the armadillo carefully in the trash can and eat the board.

Asshole by nature, asshole by name I guess?

Class of ‘93? He looks like he’s 60 years old!

I just want a member of the Trump administration to say this, just once to one of the four horsemen (Bannon, Preibus, Conway, spicer):

Markets himself as such an alpha male (barf) and is too chicken shit to deal with a night of ribbing at his expense. And you know if Russia had an equivalent of this dinner Putin would at least have the nerve to show up and poison some journalists. Trump is just going to slink away and tweet in a corner.

I guess we’ll always have this

Buk buk buh caw!

They should give Hillary the seat and table that would have been occupied by Trump. Heck, maybe even roast Hillary as they would have if she was president. Heck, they could even make her the focus of the night and pretend that she’s president.

HOW AMAZING WOULD IT BE IF THEY ROASTED HILLARY AND GENERALLY ACTED AS THOUGH SHE WERE THE SITTING PRESIDENT, a la HILLARYBEATTRUMP.ORG

Well the other argument is that she keeps spreading lies that people actually believe - like the article pointed out, Trumplings actually believe Bowling Green Massacre was a thing - which is scary. The more of this misinformation is out there, the more reality and lies will get so entangled that people won’t be able…