Well thanks,and you are adorable..

Do you girls want a little bit of cocaine? Because if you are going to get high I’d rather you do it in the house.

Oh, I just remembered another one! I was about 17, and my little brother was 13 or 14. My mother sang in the church choir (the choir was the only reason my family went to church; they were pretty good) and they were doing an extra special long musical interlude in the service for some holiday. One of the songs was in…

Near U. of Texas in Austin there’s a church that is either Baptist or Church of Christ — I forgot. It has these signs on the front doors saying, “Don’t sit on the steps, “No sleeping on the steps,” and “Anything left in front of the building will be thrown away,” clearly aimed at the homeless people in the area.…

I got hit on at Auschwitz.

So, it’s late and not many will see this but I think it’s a cute story kinda.

My bf and I went to the Church of the Holy Sepulchre in Jerusalem on Christmas Eve. It’s supposedly where Jesus was buried- it’s a fairly big deal among several different faiths/denominations. Firstly, I’d never noticed how much my bf cursed before that. Every minute or two he’d point at something and say, “Jesus…

When I was in about 5th grade, prior to becoming the proud heathen I am today, I REALLY wanted to get perfect attendance for the year at Sunday School. If I did, I would get a bible with my name embossed on it in gold letters. All my Sunday School friends had gotten one the previous year. Coveting was in that year, so…

Also, a pretty cringe-worthy story, but here goes:

Just thought of one. My father has always had long hair and a beard. He’s also a baker who likes to make wine as a hobby. When I was very young I saw a statue of Jesus with bread and wine in church and loudly told my father. “Hey look dad they put a statue of you in here!” While pointing to Jesus.

I’m posting again, because this is actually pretty sacrilegious and brilliant. When I was in the fourth grade, I was allowed to be an altar girl. I decided to be one because if you served a lot, you got a huge discount to go to Cedar Point at the end of the year. Well, the priest was really impressed with my…

Growing up, my Mom was Catholic and Dad was a Protestant that never went to church. My mom’s side of the family were churchgoers and on the major holidays he would come with us to Catholic mass. One Easter, the priest decided to take advantage of a full house and do a mass blessing. He flung holy water on everyone…

When I was 11 I was getting confirmed in a Catholic Church (my nana made me do it. I was powerless to her will) I thought that that day at 11 years old in an awkward long graduation esque robe would be the perfect day to wear high heels for the first time. Walking down the aisle was difficult but by the time I reached…

After a very long (and very booze-filled) night of camping, my boyfriend and I went to his nearby hometown to pick up our idiot dog his parents had graciously watched. Instead of hopping into the car like she was supposed to, aforementioned idiot dog made a mad dash through town, galloping her way through people’s…

Me. Today. I was preoccupied, my mother-in-law is sick and my husband is up there with her, I’m scrambling for work, I had a fairly important business prospecting lunch that I was worried about, there was a suspected gas leak in the building, my dog decided that he wasn’t housetrained anymore so I ran him outside.…

I went to Catholic school my whole life. (Now agnostic) I’m sure there are so many other sacrilegious things I’ve done but this is the one I thought of...

My husband and I toured the Paris Catacombs. It was one of the pivotal experiences in my life - I emerged with a profound acceptance of my own mortality, along with some insight into the darker side of human nature. While we were in there, we saw a woman (an American, sunnysunny-blond, moneyed, extremely entitled) pry…

This isn’t so much an intentional act of sacrilege, but more of my body saying no, you don’t belong in a house of God.

Mine is tame, but is the kind that people love shaking their heads over in dismay. My 8 year old nephew was asking to be lifted so he could see the water memorial at Ground Zero. Upon being lifted he proceeded not to look at the water but to crisply, deliberately STOMP on one of the names engraved at the plaque with…

sooo this isn’t actually my story, it’s my boyfriend’s - but it’s a great one. See, my boyfriend is half-lapsed-Jewish, half-lapsed-Irish-Catholic, and after the incident I’m about to explain, he ended up being raised as neither.