I’m not convinced she’s not a robot. Some freshman Computer Science major wrote a program as a joke that generates Tea Party-esque phrases and then uploaded it into her mainframe.

I hate my coworkers, no really... hate. A bit of background, I’m a direct care worker at a mental health facility, so I’ve dealt with some really interesting people over the past 11 years. I can handle almost anything, except for the two cunts I work with.

I’ve gone cold turkey from a pack a day two times, and have been smoke free for twenty years. There was no patch, no Nicorette gum. I walked uphill to school both ways, in the snow, with no shoes.

1) Use the coupons for the hottest salsa you can get.

We need a mandatory high school class in workers rights in this country. Like the year that you’re eligible to work you attend a class where they talk about minimum wage, hourly pay and wage theft, sexual harassment, workplace injuries and your rights in regards to them, and all the other crap that can happen on the…

We constantly are brought back to the basic fact that adequate and functioning medical equipment in this country is a luxury good, when there is absolutely no justifiable reason for that to be the case. The idea that corporations must be profiting exorbitantly for science and technology to advance is so patently false…

Yeah no one watching that debate was doing it because they care about his politics, it was literally an excuse to go to the bar with friends and laugh our asses off....

A few years ago, I finally got my first job as a classroom teacher. I was so nervous about teaching 5th grade. The night before the first day of school we held an ice cream social where kids could meet their teachers and drop off supplies. One girl walked in, looked me up and down, and said, “You’re my teacher? Yeah,…

I come from a long line of klutzes. Mom played field hockey in HS and her father ran track, but other than that there is very little athletic ability in my gene pool. Sports was not a big thing in our house, my father didn’t even enjoy WATCHING it.

My first day in kindergarten, I told my teacher, Mrs. Green, that I knew my ABC’s, could write my name, and count to 100, “So you don’t have to teach me a thing.” She told me to go sit down.

In the style of the LET ME LOVE YOU! gif, I HAVE STORIES!!!!! Ahem.
My family had just moved to Georgia (my father had just joined the military, and we were waiting for a house on base to finish being prepped for us) but in the meantime, we lived in a trailer park and I went to a school nearby. I was in kindergarten,…

My family moved to a new town and I had a first day of school in kindergarten. I got seated next to kid I would realize was forever covered in cheetodust. That’s not thisstory.

I am going to make people so mad when I become a parent. Just reading this comment cracked me up. It also made me think of this:

So, when I was in kindergarten, I wasn’t allowed to carry an umbrella on the bus.

“When Michelle and I came into office....”

From Bristol Palin’s blog:

Story time:

Why is “house salad” still a thing? It’s always a blend of crap lettuce, a few tomatoes, and maybe some of that cursed shredded carrot.

I created my first ever burner to respond to this, because I know of a pretty amazing sperm donor situation but the outcome is still fresh and I don't want to be doxxed or break any privacy laws. This happened to someone I know very well (not me). I am leaving out some details.