Not too long after I moved from NYC to SF, I was bartending in a place that served food very late for SF. (For you New Yorkers, SF closes about 4 hours earlier than NYC.)

Whatever your opinions on GMO's, they definitely bring food prices down, if nothing else.

Honestly, I'm fully of the opinion that religion doesn't make people crazy, but that crazy people are drawn to religion because it gives them a really great framework to express their craziness.

I am SO OVER strapless wedding dresses. But dress manufacturers love them because they cost less to make and are easier to alter. If I had to do it all over again I'd go full Kate Middleton.

1) She didn't get a fair trial.

It's easy to never return when you die there from negligence, I guess?

You mean, let me understand this … cuz I … maybe its me, maybe I'm a little fucked up maybe. I'm important how? I mean important, like I'm a monogrammed coffee thermos salesman? I sell you monogrammed thermoses? I keep your coffee warm? I'm here to fuckin' keep your coffee warm? Whattya you mean important? Important…

Good Lord, it looks like someone dropped half a cheesecake on the floor of a stoner's 1974 Plymouth Duster.

It's the cheesecake version of this:

It looks like it should have dog hair, lint, and a stray penny stuck to it. *shudder*

As my mom would say "Just give it a quick rinse, it will be fine!" I mean, this was obviously just dropped on the floor but we can save it!

This is why I think the movement to raise fast food wages should be called the "give a fuck wage." Many fast food workers are so underpaid that they simply have no fucks to give. If you pay somebody a livable wage, they're more likely to care and pay attention and take care of errors and problems before they reach the…

I didn't realize that people were now getting plastic surgery to look like Lyle Lovett.

My wife's mom had her last at 33. Died at 51 of Melanoma. Fuck cancer indeed.

Flashing back to that scene in "The Egypt Game" where the little boy (also 4? It's been awhile) who doesn't speak much/well is trying to describe the bad man who almost kidnapped his sister and another little girl; finally the (white) policeman finally puts his arm next to the kid's (who is black) and says "was his…

Sometimes, people just need to believe in something. That's all. If it makes you feel good to not believe, that's fine too. There is nothing wrong with being an atheist and there is nothing wrong with believing there is a God.

Aww. I was waiting for Luke and Laura to burst in and save the day.

I was 12 when I got it while jumping on a friend's trampoline. My mom offered giant pads with some sort of safety-pin garter belt (this was circa 1971), which freaked me out completely. So I grabbed my sister's trusty blue box of Tampax (there was only one brand on the market), locked the bathroom door and decided I…