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“You’re just funny, there’s so many different sides of you,” Jojo responded, calling him “mysterious.” She doubled down Tuesday, writing in her blog about the episode that “Chad is a complex guy with complex emotions.”

I love that the reaction to hearing her scream “Stop hitting me” was “Oh that bitch is orchestrating a setup”

Security guards on the Depp payroll, I'm assuming. Okay.

I love it when guys defend other guys by talking about *their* own friendship as evidence for why the guy must not have beaten his female partner. It’s like white guys saying “my white friend has always been great to me, there’s no way he’s racist!!”

Andy gets it!

YOU ALL GOT YOUR GD DIRT BAG

It’s a measure of how much antipathy there is towards Amber Heard that nobody has suggested that maybe she gave him an ultimatum about sobering up. Maybe she couldn’t stand by and watch?

It’s there because I put it there.

This ad is under the article about the Depp-Heard divorce (on my end anyway), and I find it extremely appropriate.

Kylie had been bankrolling Tyga for well over a year”

Real Dolls is drooling at the thought of this, their perfect customer.

I’m guessing he views anyone and everyone who isn’t just interested in his as a narcissist. I’m guessing this conversation has happened before:

I forgOT they’re tryna play up the fact that she’s part Iranian aka: not fully white. Hellooooo we’re not racist look we have a halfsie on the show!

And “girls who talk too much.”

Evan’s deal-breakers are apparently girls with chipped nail polish and girls with serious food allergies.

And it takes LITERALLY (not literally) A MILLION YEARS. You watch hordes of people get out of limos and think “Surely this is it, right?” But there are ALWAYS more.

I usually skip week one of any new season, because all these people getting out of limos and trying desperately to be different and get noticed seems gimmicky and weird (“I’m not wearing anything under my kilt! “) (“Here, squeeze my blue balls!“). It's kind of gross.

It’s all fun and games until every social construct breaks down and someone is murdered for the conch.