Gwyneth Paltrow tries so hard to be sexy but she just isn’t. Her mother Blythe Danner really never tried and she just is.

BOOP Sex

I needed to have relatively minor outpatient surgery for early stage cancer a couple years ago, and called the hospital twice in the week or so between when I found out I needed surgery and the surgery to get cost estimates. Both times I left messages and never received a call back. Then as I was checking in for my…

Good luck getting any kind of medical cost estimate before any procedure or stay at all.

Seriously, it’s like herding cats. If cats were racist, sexist, homophobic, ignorant, anti-science garbage creatures that fed on scotch and second wives.

Wow. They didn't even name her on the cover.

Lol, right. Enjoy your feminism. Just remember that Melania will likely make a TERRIBLE First Lady, because she knew exactly what she wanted when Trump hit on her. If you think there isn’t a category of women out there who actively looks for rich guys to take care of them, I’m not sure what I can tell you to bring you…

I’m sorry, do you think he didn’t encourage her to do these photos as an extension of their fame? This shoot took place in 2001, pre-Apprentice, pre-presidential run. At the time, Donald Trump was a marginal figure in both New York and celebrity life, and she was his girlfriend. She was absolutely encouraged by him to…

Yeah, I’d like to support the sisterhood on this, but I just can’t, mainly because I despise him just that much. If Melania didn’t know what she was getting into by marrying the controversial rich asshole, accent on “asshole,” that’s kind of her problem. Some small part of me thinks she is seriously wondering what she…

She has actually been on the cover of Vogue.... but as Donald’s bride. As far as I can tell, she was never on the cover of Vogue as a regular model.

Ol’ Tweety is fucking gross. Yeah, women are like nails on a chalkboard, but his dulcet tones are always wonderful to hear.

I really like Chris Matthews, cause the dude knows his shit, and no politician can get a fast one by him. But goddamn, every now and then he has to remind us that he’s still an old man with dated sensibilities. I always take instances like this as a lesson to be vigilant as I myself age.

If you lie down with dogs, you get up with fleas.

I have a feeling Vogue thought they were being really awesome, comparing Lupita to Audrey.

But for viewers who aren’t yet at the parenting stage, the inundation with negative stories about that next step is frustrating and depressing. Watching them, it’s easy to wonder why anyone would procreate at all.

Turned his hearing aids off

I feel like if you eat 51 bananas a day, your bowels are FAR from regular.