They don’t play the anthem before you watch a fucking movie.

“It’s not supposed to be a litmus test for who is with us and who is not.”

Maybe it’s time you embraced something new....With arms wide open.

Sorry. I vowed that I’ll never let myself love again when Creed broke up.

Pfft, Febreeze has been saying that for years.

Damn, Daniel.

Ozone Waste Solutions employee: “Oh God, our weirdo manager Jack is drunk at the Hornets game heckling Dwayne Wade.”

Finally I attend a notable ballgame.

Chords

I thought she could handle her liquor

reading is hard

I don’t watch women’s sports but if someone could create a crossover of USWNT and the Portland Jail Blazers...I’d tune in.

Draws like a Mayweather-lite? I don’t even follow boxing and I can see how absurd that claim is.

Yes, it would.

No problem, I got this. First of all, you can never neg hard enough. Constantly talking about how hot her sister or best friend is is great way to start off. Second, interrupt constantly and explain things in a very condescending manner. We like to know exactly where our place is. Finally, I suggest you consider…

Which one of you broads can punt a football the farthest?

Ok? How does that change his statement?

Tell us more about being a really big fan of a team yet almost wishing for them to lose the Superbowl because of personal distaste for one player.

this is the lifechanging money that he’s worked his entire life to achieve.