I’ve gotten into the terrible habit of laying in bed reading my phone before getting out of bed. It’s because I hate getting out of bed, but waking up and six and staring at my phone until 6:30 a) doesn’t make getting up less shitty and b) either get up and start your day or go back to sleep, dum dum.

The busiest people I know don’t seem to actually more done than the less busy.

I just wish whoever was watching Baywatch would fess up. I just want to know who got that on my queue.

Sad for all the people who didn’t have the same good experience I did. I didn’t realize how bad things were.

After everything I’ve learned about adolescents and sex in the last 5 or so years, I actually e-mailed my high school boyfriend to thank him for making my early experiences fun and enjoyable. :(

Everybody raves about Alaska, yet I have somehow never had a good experience flying Alaska.

I literally did have a Delta flight attendant hit the back of my seat because I didn’t know it was reclined. It was like that when I got on, no one said shit during takeoff, then she assaults me over it during landing prep. It reclines a 1/4 inch and I cannot tell the difference.

There’s what you’re entitled to and there’s what the airline is happy to lie about to avoid providing, DELTA.

“Polio rates were decreasing naturally and the vaccine didn’t actually have anything to do with its eradication” was what I was told when I explained how my father beat polio with use of his legs intact but still struggled with post-polio syndrome for a lot of his life.

I witnessed my pediatrician friend being told to “get educated!” about vaccines in a Facebook thread. When she replied “I’m a fucking pediatrician”* the reply was “Well...that’s all we ask, I guess, is that you educate yourself.”

Only half? I’m surprised it’s not more.

They’re saying “we only care about our regular customers. The people who only give us money once in a while can fuck off.” Which is their prerogative, but just admit it instead of trying to sell it as efficiency. Which is what they did when I told them I want the menu back.

1. My Starbucks complaint that is totally unrelated to the article: Ya think yer too good to post your menu? I patronize your store maybe once a month (now less on account of the lack of menu.) I’m not downloading an app to know what you sell. Post your menu like a normal establishment.*

I honestly expected you to deflect, rationalize, attack, etc. and was hugely impressed with “Wow, I didn’t know that. That sucks.” This is how low other men have set the bar. :(

I once considered trying to find another exit while he was on his 3rd smoke break of the dinner. (If you can’t get through dinner without THREE smoke breaks, you need a damn patch.)

I watched the whole of the first video clip of the event that I encountered and what I thought I saw in Sandmann’s eyes was awkwardness, discomfort, and a desire to not make a bad situation worse. I realize many saw the exact opposite. I’ve decided that the evidence is too ambiguous to draw conclusions and have noted…

I remember when Jezebel loved Brand. I think it was more than just that he dumped Katy Perry, but I pretty much remember seeing the love after he dumped Katy Perry.

This worked for me for about the six months after I discovered it. Then I started sleep-peeing. Not wedding the bed, but getting up to pee and going back to bed without even cognizant I’d done it until I got up for reals and saw the unflushed toilet. My will to sleep late is STRONG.

That’s how I handle a 5 AM flight. Gotta be there at 4, which means leaving at 3:30. Gotta get up at 3 to handle pre-travel stuff. So why even bother going to bed?

I feel like I did just recently read something about combining naps and coffee for improved energy.