How is his math “wrong”? He’s saying that the average person needs way more water than one bottle of water each day. How many times one brushes one’s teeth, or how much water is used to rinse one’s mouth, really doesn’t matter here.

“If your friend is an an open relationship with their partner, then it’s highly unlikely that they’d use a dating website solely aimed at those wishing to have an affair.”

That would definitely be funny. And there are so many other possible directions one could explore with this situation. Off the top of my head, Lynch could formulate some platitudes and then run them through a few rounds of Google Translate—e.g. English to French to German to Portuguese to Italian, and then back to…

The Kindle link for the Great Gatsby actually leads you to Tender Is the Night.