PEE PEE TAPE! PEE PEE TAPE!

I’d like that to be the case! But in reality, my guess is Grandpa is just sundowning so hard that he doesn’t even think about this stuff.

*crosses fingers* please be piss tape.

You know what sucks? Besides the obvious. That even if trump gets kicked out of office and publicly ruined, all this shit has been put out there and exposed for the world to see. If the world was a neighborhood, we’re the family whose dad went outside jerked himself off and then took a huge dump on his next door…

Whatever he just found out Mueller has must be amazing. He does have a pattern of creating tweet freakouts when stuff he wants to be unnoticed is about to drop. The more he wants us to LOOK OVER THERE the more outlandish and lurid his tweet spasms get.

No, he can’t. His belly is too large.

I like this post and it gave me a lot of hope. I just wish the men I had loved had even known who I was. I’m 45 and I’ve never been in a relationship. Never. They don’t like me. At all. I know men are a lot of work...just being friends with them is sometimes exhausting! But I’d like to at least get one chance to find…

He looks like Danny devito’s penguin when the dress him up. Wow.

My father-in-law was heavily overweight and had an especially prominent gut. Turns out he was in congestive heart failure and the big gut was actually mostly fluid! They admitted him to the hospital and removed SIXTY pounds of fluid from his body over a four-day period. What I’m saying is, maybe we’ll get lucky and…

The world’s oldest wedding ring bearer. When little boys wear a tux with their cute little toddler tummies, it’s adorable. With an old fart in his 70's with Wal-Mart Barbie at his side, no so much.

More and more, Trump looks like a Fernando Botero painting.

Conflicts of interest the size of Czarist Russia.

Don’t get you someone who looks at you like Melania looks at Donnie. Their relationship is a nightmare.

It looks to me like Trump is definitely putting on weight. I don’t remember him having a double chin before. I hope the cholesterol is busy at work clogging the arteries to and in his heart and brain.

It’s a really awkward, unfortunate length. Kind of like her marriage.

A portrait of the Trump marriage.

What the ever loving fuck is Melania wearing? It looks like a table cloth.

“It will happen for you one day” is one of the nuttier things well-meaning people say to me. It’s strange, like saying “you will win the lottery one day” or possibly “you will get hit by lightning one day”. I mean... even if I WERE to meet someone who is the marrying kind, that’s not necessarily a happy ending? Some…

I am 60 years old. In case it helps, I’m going to tell you what I know.

I used to think it was bad to hate people. But when they so thoroughly embody hatred themselves, then you can’t help but hate them.