I was ready to “quit” smoking weed a couple years ago when my baby was born. We’d been together 10+ years, and she’d smoked with me the entire time, but times were changing with the baby on the way and she didn’t want us to have a house of illicit recreational drug use. I did what any stoner would do who’s faced with…

Polynesians have a different culture than white Americans, and it’s so much more than just religion. I thought the Deadspin staff and commentariat were woke enough to understand that.

How exactly are you measuring “working harder”? It’s one thing to say an athlete’s production doesn’t match his big contract because at least you’ll have metrics for support, but sorry if I’m skeptical of your “eye for effort” from watching games on TV.

Boogie Cousins’s outfit with that yellow plaid shirt and matching yellow shades really makes me want to listen to some 90s R&B.

You’ll have to forgive his shoddy research. There’s only so much you can discern from the back of a baseball card.

My good friend had a GMC Terrain that was a lemon, and was rewarded $80K+ as part of a class action lawsuit. He had been a Honda guy with his previous vehicles, but got the Terrain because it was a good deal. I guess it was a better deal than even imagined. 

My DA9 Integra was so slammed back in the day that I broke my exhaust at the cat while driving over a railroad cross.  Did I fix it?  Hell no.  I rolled headers-out for the next few months until I got pulled over on the freeway on the way to court to pay for a speeding ticket.  The CHP made me pop my hood, and when he…

The Rams won’t have a problem if they continue winning because they’re still considered an “LA” team from their nearly 50-year first stint in LA.  The Chargers always faced an uphill battle to gain footing in the LA market, but Kroenke and the NFL didn’t want the Raiders back in LA taking all the shine away from the…

Stereotypes aplenty, Petrozzi probably thinks she owns the police department too.

This sounds like, “if you just don’t talk about it, the problem will go away.”

Uhhhh... why are you gray?

I was obsessed with The Dukes of Hazzard, and it’s because I thought the car could literally fly.

The systematic cover-up of crimes committed against women by the Michigan State administration is far beyond the other examples of “lack of institutional control” that the NCAA has levied against other schools.  Paying SMU players is worse than this? Reggie Bush’s parents house and personal car is worse than this? …

I’m in the South Bay, and I’ve never seen a stanced car in the wild. Thankfully.

Get the hell off the internet! Your life’s calling is to use your POS Altima to be a Sideshow-hunting Bat-Jalopman. Do us all proud!

Back in 1998 I installed some coilover conversions in my Integra, not because I had designs of tuning my suspension or anything like that, but so it would be easier for me to raise it back up when I got fix-it tickets. One time I forgot to tighten the lugs on the left front wheel, and while I was driving to a buddy’s…

Thanks for being a good human being.  We need more of this nowadays.

I’m not sure you can say Lakers Exceptionalism is dead the day after GOAT 1B says he’s going to LA. What other NBA team can miss the playoffs 5 straight years, then sign the league’s best player? None. There are very few teams in the world with the cache to be considered a destination by their respective league’s…

Who are you trying to get crazy with, ese?  Don’t you know I’m loco?

One of my best pearls of wisdom my dad told me was to never get into a fight with someone who has less to lose than you do.