Your utter obliviousness to the fact that you’ve proved his/her point is just deliciously perfect.

is this real life

Well you can keep your nutrition; I will take my bowl of nondescript white fluid tainted with red paint any day of the week, thank you.

Cronut guy: Eat, sheep..
Customer: Don’t you mean eat the sheep?
Cronut guy: Yeah that’s what I meant...

He knows he doesn’t have to be in the way of every projectile right?

Seems over-the-top to have an entire country dedicated to fish-based sports teams.

Oh God this slayed me.

Always tautology truthers.

No joke: This guy’s ability to snatch wrong from the gaping jaws of obvious right is stunning.

Take it easy Tom.

what the hell is this

Dessert plate? Are you an English lord?

I feel stupid for not getting this. Is this a reference or something?

Basketball: [is comatose due to thousands of bricked shots]

Kobe: I think those stats are wrong.
Redford: Why?
Kobe: Well, I can’t get that kind of efficiency, and nobody is better than me, so it stands to reason that you made a mistake.
Redford: No I don’t thi...
Kobe: Sh, sh, shshshhhhh....it’s OK, it’s okaay. Just close your eyes and walk into the light.

Milo, Madoff, DougExeter...never been a fan of those posers.

What a perfect sentence.

Nah.

This all sounds a little forced to me. We’ll see in a few years I guess.