Tom, I'm afraid you've been hoodwinked: this is viral marketing for Bud Light Lime Straw-Ber-Rita.

That's what I call a 5-tool player. Fork, spoon, butter knife, steak knife, another fork (not salad).

[busts a nutella]

St. Catharines Rebels? Wouldn't that make them Lutherans?

Aw, look at all the Little Caesars.

[redacted] is a fucking moron and will run the pool into the ground along with the rest of his asshole cronies.

FICO also has a ceremony planned in which they'll retire Iverson's credit score and raise his 300 to the rafters.

Fielder Stats:

I know this guy. He's kind of a staple at Rays games.

I have to stick up for my boy Vertonghen here. I know it looks like it was soft, but how do you know it didn't legitimately hurt him? Even the slightest bump to your head stings a hell of a lot more than you'd think.

LeBron: Hey man, I got next in garbage can basketball.

I'm sorry Tom, letting football players smoke marijuana is a slippery slope. Next they might also start driving cars, and then driving cars while high, and THEN they might end up as a .gif following a poor effort in the comments section of deadspin dot com.

"We let football players smoke Weeden all season."

Welcome to Choose Your Own Adventure - Prisoner Reintegration Edition!

Sometimes when you work on something so very much, muscle memory just takes over. That's my explanation for why she fell.

He also called it a 2 wheel piece of shit and threatened to take a dump in its carburetor.

Interviewer: Which weighs more, a pound of bricks or a pound of paper clips?

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AH HA! Here it is. HOW T