There is a Subway in my town that is inside a gas station. I can’t buy gas there because the smell of warm subway bread and gas is nauseating.

God doesn’t like Subway?

“I’ve got dogs to put through college.” Now I know what to say when someone asks me why I’m working shitty jobs.

It looks like an office and the workers were about to have their lunch and were told to move out of sight so he could get his birthday picture taken. I’m picturing a row of people with arms crossed, pissed because their subs are getting cold.

I’m sure she has one black friend.

Better safe than sorry. So let’s keep all men at home in the kitchen where they won’t be tempted by all those women out there trying to make a living.

I know, he made fun of others all the time using the line “I’m only kidding.” I want to throat punch people like that. Fucking bullies and assholes are the bane of my existence. They’re like sharks, they can sniff out any weakness in people and use it against them. Long story short, people like him made me despise…

The trouble is many people don’t go for the harmless prank. They know what scares some people and use it against them for laughs. A friend was robbed at gunpoint when she was younger and another “friend” thought it was hilarious to come up behind her and pretend to shove a gun in her back. He was a complete asshole…

Those yellow car owners should have a weekly parade through the village on the tourist-iest day of the week.

Raise the stakes....

I recall a short story I read years ago in a horror anthology. Basically the morgue workers at a prison would have sex with the freshly executed corpses of women prisoners.

Jesus H. When someone is deliberately targeted and hurt, it is no longer a fucking prank, it’s assault. Good that you ended up in school you loved.

The only saving grace this year is that it’s Saturday because I’m imagining how many people would think a fake workplace shooting is a hilarious thing. I really hate April Fools and can’t thing of a single funny prank.

My kid had an soft ET doll. The fucking creepy dead eyes on that thing. No smile, just those eyes that could steal your soul.

Instead of canned food we stored dried foods, rice, beans etc and packs of food in foil bags. Much easier to carry if you have to take your food supply with you when you flee the city. Also, always carry an exacto knife at all times.

Shake hands with a man...sure.

Visiting a friend, my 3yr old was watching a newborn boy getting a diaper change. He hit her, the floor, the wall and even out the door a bit. It was actually impressive.

Intellectually, I understood especially since my husband was the social spark plug in our marriage. I’m introverted by nature and have had only a few friends my whole life. So losing him meant losing my social network. But after major adjustments I’m fine now. Friends are important. Strangely enough, the best friends…

We don’t need no education
We don’t need no washing legs.