He’s right—no Bigfoot bones have ever been found. But no one ever found those hookers that Craig James killed either—but that doesn’t mean he didn’t do it. Actually, that might mean that Craig James killed Bigfoot, too...

Astros Pres: What can we do to help?

It’s amazing the Seahawks still seem emotionally scarred after Super Bowl 49. It’s been a few years now.

“... and since your Mom and your Dad are so Woke, then we figured you were born a little Wokie. And so, long story short, that’s how we named you Chewbacca!”

Now all I can picture is him having his number written out above the number

He should have went with “sticks”, as his number is 11 and he clearly has a third one up his ass.

The Patriots are lucky this doesn’t happen during their games, Tom Brady would completely lose focus.

Can the Olympics just split the difference and give us an “International Ninja Warrior” course?

If he keeps getting knocked down and dominated at this rate the South may have to declare him a Confederate war hero.

Would you be willing to remain in this position once Rumspringa ends?

I saw Behavioral Event Interview open for Neutral Milk Hotel in 1997. Great show.

Hot Take: Amarillo Hero is better than Citra Hero.

Not in the terminal I’m at. People flying to Bismarck to not deserve nice things. Fucking ICE bar and bullshit Goose IPA. Got the job done tho. Also it’s August, Citra Hero season! If you never had it, get it.

They suggested he get an MRI, he suggested they should fuck off, and then his arm suggested that Thor is not a doctor.

Not to break the poignancy of the moment, but...it’s not like they’ve given you a lot of options.....

I am a white male and a Marine Corps combat veteran. I have been a Browns fan all my life.

I am so...so sorry...

Those are Digimon

The Bucs’ offering to help pay is an empty gesture. They are only willing to donate $4, or a buck an ear.