I guess it never occurred to me that he only had one stand-up special under his belt, and that the only one included jokes about Kerri Strug.

It’s a pet peeve of my wife’s, so I’ve tried changing and using “girl” less, but that’s exactly the problem I run into. Using “woman” just seems so formal, when if this was male person I was referring to, I would have used guy.

I’m pretty sure that I cried towards the end of that movie too, and my wife caught me. And I wasn’t on a plane, or have an absent father! Also, I ALWAYS tear up at the end of Wreck-It Ralph, which might count as embarrassing.

The phrase “going like gang-busters” always irrationally irritated me the most, but “nothing burger” is going to surpass it any day now.

The main thing I’m taking away from this article is that All Takes Matter is actually the name of the show, not some snarky name that this site just uses instead of whatever bland name the show actually has. And I’m having trouble wrapping my head around that.

I got a “Mexico” Eagles jersey. It’s pretty great.

Where could I goat.se this viral image?

Sometimes the polio vaccine is given as oral drops. Maybe there was some confusion there since there might not have been an actual shot?

Meanwhile, a fucking rapist gets <del>a few months.</del> to be president.

No, polio is still very much so on the US schedule: https://www.cdc.gov/vaccines/parents/downloads/parent-ver-sch-0-6yrs.pdf

My wife and I have this argument. I agree with you, but she’s terrified of carjackers. I can see many more possibilities where I need to get out quickly than I need to prevent other people from getting in.

I knew all along that ISIS was behind Mama Cass’s death!

Of course, my immediate thought is just: Did he run out of other relatives to pretend that they passed away? Like, was he at 3 or 4 dead uncles before he decided he had to go whole hog with a dead father?

I just love the reasoning of “Well, I have the right to do it!” Yeah, anyone has the right to tell their boss to go fuck themselves, but just because they have the right, doesn’t mean that there are no negative consequences.

But as a center fielder, he could really nail his throws to home plate.

There is no way that you did not make that up.

How exactly does one get to be a three time champion Scotsman? The best scotch palate and the haggis recipe? Highest consumption of blood pudding?

Now that is a quality pun.

I’m just amazed that the Betas still had a fraternity. When I was at Penn State in the early 2000s, some idiot brother uploaded pictures of hazing to their account, and left the folder public. I would have thought pictures of pledges having to catch literal shit dropped off a balcony would get rid of them. Nope! …

But you see, nothing is more Christian than undoing anything that the heathen Muslim Obama did! /s