Your comment made me LOL. Admittedly, I get all the feelings when my mom whips out her china at Thanksgiving, as it reminds me of all the Thanksgivings that came before, and all my loved ones who ate off that china and are now dead (RIP, Grandma).

Do you have a diamond?

No, I get it. Diamond companies artificially suppress supply just like how you should withhold affection in your relationship so that they know you really mean it when you do show affection.

I highly recommend that people read this post by Dr. Jen Gunter about why the press needs to stop using the term “heartbeat bill”.

Evan Rachel Wood’s suit is incredible. How did Alison Williams get her styling and makeup so wrong? Lily Collins looks like Miss Havisham the day after she’s been left at the altar.

That’s so gross. I’m sure that person tried to brush it off with “C’mon, I was making a joke! That’s a line from a famous movie! You know I don’t mean it!!” What an asshole.

You’re doing the Lord’s work. I mean playing God, obv.

No, I’m just a scientist who experiments with animating non-living matter. My sofa was the first successful attempt. His name is Brandon and he’s held down a job as a road-side sign-twirler for over a month now.

Roughly equal proportion of sperm to overall volume, I’m guessing.

we have a coworker who is a wonderful, wonderful woman. she’s beautiful, kind, caring, thoughtful, and sweet as all get out.

My favorite bit of trivia for Singin’ in the Rain is that the clip of Debbie Reynolds singing so warmly, where she’s meant to be dubbing Lina Lamont, was actually Jean Hagen (who played Lina Lamont) dubbing Debbie Reynolds.

Wildenstein, 76, flew into a “violent rage” and scratched the face of fashion designer Lloyd Klein inside their apartment in Trump World Tower on 1st Avenue and East 47th Street around 1:30 a.m., the sources said.

How about Mark Burnett stages the inauguration as a mashup of his programs? Trump is dropped into an actual shark tank that’s on a desert island and he screams until his voice is gone and we see if he’s a survivor.

The biggest bullies towards my sister and me in school were the Jesus-iest girls ever. They attended all church services, youth activities, retreats, etc. And these girls made damn sure to let us know, especially when adults weren’t around, that our entire family would rot in hell for all eternity. Another girl told…

Contrary to this Hank character’s perception of Austin, it’s actually a super liberal and down to earth city. sure, it’s had it’s influx of californians benefitting from the lower cost of living, etc. but the heart of austin is still there. Spoken as an austinite. Fuck you, Hank.

What does a leaf with morning dew on it have to do with controlling a woman’s body?

On the one hand, yes, anything but an able-bodied, cis, straight, white man is going to be a more of a gamble. On the other hand, that sort of an argument is what keeps the conga line of old, white dudes in power going and going and going and goooooiiiiiiing...

Eventually, something’s gotta give. The system must be…

Right, because human beings are incapable of distinguishing homographs with context clues, and it’s important that we avoid offending everyday Latin speakers by bastardizing their language. Don’t be an ass.

no... that would be someone suggesting you use Miracle Whip instead of butter.

Counterpoint: American cheese makes the BEST grilled cheese, and you are wrong!