“These people believe this country is a democracy. It’s not,” Carreras, the dapper Wall Streeter and failed politician, said, referring to the Green Party and its allies. “It’s a constitutional republic.”

I actually didn’t figure it out until the reveal. One of the reasons is that I wasn’t as interested in those plot threads as I was with Maeve, Ford, and Bernard. I remember now that I read comments like “William is the Man in Black”, to which I thought: “Who the fuck is William?” I suspect the place where a lot of…

I was in the same boat except I’m a Gen X suburban dad, so replace the phone with whiskey and being passed out on the couch

Anything can be an event! My breakfast was an event. Your comment was an event. I just let my dog out for a pooping event.

I’d argue Bernard is Arnold wasn’t that huge of a twist because it was telegraphed so hard before the reveal. Now Ford using Bernard to murder Theresa on the other hand...

Also: Ed Harris’ grin when he realized he’s been actually shot.

We spent a large sum of money today replacing the living room armchair covers with leather (previously fabric) because the dog hair has become absurd. We briefly pondered training the dog to, ya know, not sit on the furniture. “But that would make him sad,” I said. “Yeah,” my scary ex-combat soldier said, “I don’t…

Yes, folks, this is shade in Donald Trump’s America. As shitty as everything else will be.

Channing Tatum as ken Channing Tatum as ken Channing Tatum as ken

Only problem with that is a Trump supporter doesn’t acknowledge a Trump detractor at all so by the time it’s finished they’ll have you questioning whether or not you’re actually there.

In the old days, over a hundred years ago, the media was far more of a cesspool than now. For the likes of William Randolph Hearst, facts didn’t matter; they would literally sit around making up stories, so I think when she says “classically studied journalist”, she really means it. She’s taking us back to the future.

Oh, did the Rainbow Tour start?

your tits look great tho

Maybe their “colorblindness” explains their tanorexia? They lack the ability to tell when they’re so baked that it’s beginning to look tacky?

Actually, knowing my two friends and actually having met their grandmothers, not wanting to be called “grandma” actually makes sense for them. I met my one pal’s grandmother at her dad’s 60th birthday party and the other one’s grandmother at Thanksgiving and both grandmas are like... kind of old-money southern rich…

Balthazar? BALTHAZAR? God, I hate hipsters.

This is why I have my children refer to me as “Sire,” or the more formal “God-emperor.”

No. Papa is Grandpa.

Hey now, let’s not get ahead of ourselves. They’re both heinous trolls and vicious fascists.

Every time Kellyanne Conway speaks, a bird flies into a window.