That’s how she fortifies that steely gaze.

― W.C. Fields

The first thing I thought about when I read the woman’s article about what happened was the absolutely vile barrage of insults about her looks she’s going to receive from his supporters. Not what happened or how bad Trump is for saying that but literally, “I probably would have kept quiet because she is in for a world…

Williams emphasizes, however, that she does not want her clothes to “disappear” women.

Ain’t no side eye like Flapper side eye.

As I understand it — and as a white male, I struggle sometimes — reverse racism is not racism because it is correcting a long history of racism. It is bias, but bias by itself is not racism. Sometimes bias is good, because it fixes wrongs from the past. Bias that reinforces past wrongs is bad.

my wife and I would mourn the death of my chubs too.

Can we start a rumor that Ben and Summer were having an affair and that’s why both marriages ended and Ben got that horrible phoenix tattoo?

I mean, it seems like the creators of button-down shirts haven’t figured out how breasts work AT ALL, regardless of size. I’ve been a 34B and I’ve been a 38D and I’ve never had a shirt that didn’t have boob-button-gap.

Garland is a ritual sacrifice. He’s relatively old, in SCOTUS terms, super moderate, and there are no arguments to be made against him from either side. What this pick tells me is that Obama wasn’t able to get any Republicans to break ranks - if there’d been a chance of confirmation, it would have been Srinivasan, if…

Oh, my god, can you imagine the collective conniption fit of the Republicans in Congress if President Hillary Clinton nominated Former President Barak Obama for the Supreme Court? Holy shit.

I feel like Obama must kind of feel the way I feel when I try to get my kids to eat anything. “Okay guys, here. I know you like this. It’s bland, inoffensive, yet substantive and you have definitely eaten something like this before. Now chew and swallow. GODDAMNIT WHY ARE YOU SAYING NO!?!?! YOU’RE JUST TRYING TO BE…

E. African braid:

Rubio talks about Muslims like they’re bears.

Dude no the Dog was very reluctant to raise hands. Dog was being forced to do so by that hairless ape. It was really a case of voter fraud.

Dog can come live with me. No dog should ever have to put up with such cruelty. My house is staunch socialist, so Dog can live comfortably and benefit from the therapy that my free healthcare will provide.

Let's just, like, any time someone wants to interview Caitlyn, they just go to the Wachowski sisters instead? Can we do that? For a better tomorrow?

Barack goes to the White Horse and complains that it smells like vomit.

Barack banging on the doors of Tyler’s long after they’ve closed screaming about needing a new pair of Reefs.