Five years or so?  

Agree on all points. It’s unfathomable to me that people still propose as a surprise. You should not go out an buy an expensive ring if you don’t already know whether s/he wants to marry you because the two of you have already talked about it.

Ha. We were broke so we put the engagement ring on her credit card (because I was both broke and uncreditworthy at the time.) So my bride to be strutted into the mall jeweler and announced to the whole store: “I’m looking for the cheapest diamond ring that will fit on this finger.”

She sounds like a total cancer.

We’ve been over this soooo many times. You find out a baby’s sex, you do not find out the child’s gender until years later. Therefore, the events should be call “baby sex parties” and not gender reveal parties.

I guess I’m surprised Berkeley doesn’t already have a disposable cup tax. I’m also surprised the tax isn’t one-of-your-toes for every disposable cup you use.

I’d actually be fine with that.

...just when I am finally semi-comfortable calling it Colectivo instead of Alterra someone’s got to go and pull this shit.  Changes like this are hard and I do not like it.

Don’t care.  No loot.

We must repeat.

I’ll tell you one thing: it ain’t as great of an idea as double-sided packing cubes....

But...Facebook already owns Instagram. And Microsoft owns LinkedIn.

Laugh track.

“...the zombies are back. And this time, they’re lookin’ for some tush.”

First, we need a stand-alone LinkedIn origin story. THEN, we need the Facebook sequel. And then we get the movie where Facebook, LinkedIn, and Snapchat team up to fight Instagram.

Raise your hand if you were watching a Black Mirror episode and were confused about whether it was actually an R-rated Choose Your Own Adventure book adaptation.

Wow. Just wow.

I’ll take outrage culture over closing abortion clinics, voting for fucktards for president, and pretending everyone who doesn’t hump bibles and guns on the regular is literally not a human being.

No kidding. For fuck’s sake, even the position “we all need to cool it on the constant outrage” sparks its own chorus of outrage. Although I do wish that the Rock would chill out on the “snowflake” stuff and call the outrage junkies what they really are: straight up candy asses.

PHRASING!!!