This may be insensitive, but Savage Garden?

I feel like you’re burying the “Aaron Hernandez quoted Savage Garden in his suicide note” lede here.

This is the type of thing we’d kill the NFL for if they let someone play a Thursday night game after getting concussed Sunday.

2 comments.

Reince Priebus is exactly the kind of name that comes to mind when I think of someone who wouldn’t know the rules to football, but can tell you all about some obscure nipple flicking sport they play in Tunisia.

Can’t wait until the midterms when we can finally slapshot these dummies out of the ballpark for a three point golazo spare. FORE!

Oh, you said the last two movies. My bad.

• “Can we smoke in here?”

Report: Jay Cutler’s New Job May Involve Apathetically Watching Football Games

Eh, it could just be a really good egg. Yolk color reflects the diet of the hen that laid it. Pale yellow yolks typically come from hens that eat nothing but corn; orange yolks come from hens whose diets include more variety, including stuff with carotenoids in it.

The pineapple is just taunting you. Oh, you thought the rest of this meal was shit? What if we made it a Hawaiian pizza too?

This was really a “Hold my beer” moment for all the fans who, for some reason, thought it best to eschew engendering goodwill for their city after being publicly shamed for its (debatable) status as “most racist city,” and instead wanted to convey, “Nope, that is totally accurate.”

As a fake internet attorney, let me preemptively address the knotty legal arguments from those who would ask “What about his right to free speech?”: Shut the fuck up you fucking idiot

I’m not surprised. He can’t protect the shotgun on the field so why would anyone expect him to do it off the field?

Throw in a quaint little cabin or chateau and this looks like the photo inspiration for a Thomas Kinkade painting that would be hanging in an NRA’s exec’s office.

Is it a passel, a murder, a flock, or a herd of assholes?

Aha! Thanks for clearing that up.

A totalizator (or "tote") is the computer that figures out odds and winnings in a parimutuel betting system, like you have at the track or state run OTB shops.

"Mr. Welker! Mr. Welker! Can I have one?!"