See, this is just the kind of thing Lowery ought to be getting a cut of! What say we pull him off 00.0000000000000000000010% ad rake per click-through from this stack of hot youtube-anime-softcore-sex-imagination cash? We'll never miss it!

Who else thought the headline read, "CNN to Revive Newt Gingrich"?
Herr Doktor, hook up the AortaTran and prepare Dick Cheney's catheter!

Turns out, the car's a metaphor for his soul, man. Or his ego, or something. Whatever it is, it can't be tamed, and must always be hounded by forces unknown, as well as accentuated by some kind of leather finish.

tl;dr: The Miniseries of the Movie of The Novel of the Novelization

After Shame and this movie, I am seriously considering the asexual side of the spectrum. I hear they get a lot of things done over there.

all of my YES

It's become a cliche to say that King can't write a good ending and, for the most part, it's true. But I can overlook the endings (ha, Overlook! See what I did there) in a lot of cases because the journey is really the point of the story.

Can we talk spoilers here? (I mean just from this episode). 
OK, I'm going to go ahead and say it… the cow effect didn't work. That looked nothing like an animal's insides. It looked more like a single "bloody meat" photoshop texture in the shape of a cow. There should have been more organs and the backbone visible,…

This is not bad.

"TEACH THE CONTROVERSY!"

Being from the South, (and living in it) I can completely believe that there are people who still think this way. Unfortunately I am related to some. But I still find it really hard to believe it when someone actually opens their mouth and SAYS it. But sadly, that does happen, too. 

Ruby-Spears is acknowledgedly much shittier than Hanna-Barbera. (
(They created the Mr. T Show. Watch if you dare.)

Rule 3. If it's your first night at Clue Club… you have to bludgeon somebody to death with a candlestick and leave the victim's name in a small brown envelope

I bet that Bleep died on the way to his home planet.

Seriously, I was wondering.. is there a Muppet jail? Or are we to assume that Alex's Dad is in Rikers? It can't be easy for a Muppet there. (Unless you're Snuffleupagus; everybody knows not to fuck with him.)

Great, this will work perfectly. When I think of Sesame Street I usually think "horrifically sad after-school special."

You mean you haven't been keeping your "Lyrics Sung Throughout Life" file constantly updated? Don't believe those people who tell you to throw away everything but the last five years!

If you experience such arousal lasting more than 4 hours, see a metaphysician immediately.

What your "friend" needs is two computers. Or, perhaps, a computer and one of these fancy "smart tele-pads" the kids are all using nowadays.

Still too much Latin. We Anglo-Saxon warriors prefer "Hook-Bread."