And don't even get me started on motherfucking Kenny Rogers and Willie Nelson.

I credit Cops for helping me learn the most important rule of dealing with cops: Never try to run away from them. You won't get away. Things will also not get better once they catch you.

25 seasons? Holy shit. "Cops" lasted longer than most cops' actual careers, as well as most violent perps's actual served sentences. 
Just think, someone arrested and convicted of vehicular homicide in Season 1 could have been released, without parole or good behavior, by Season 7, then manslaughtered, arrested,…

I agree. I miss the days when rappers didn't have any previous rappers that were better than them to "feature" and therefore acquire greatness by association. Instead, they WERE the great rappers, and they had to invent greater rappers they could then fantasize about beating in ideal rap contests.

You have to call him "Young Cheezy." That really pisses him off.

My Darker More Twisted Than You Can Ever Imagine Fantasy of Being Really Really Evil and Naughty and also F&(k You Taylor Swift You Never Cared About Black People.

They should have called it "The Book."

And don't forget to kill Andy Dick!
And for God's sakes, DON'T kill Hitler! 
Just remember: "Yes to Dick, No to Schick." 
As in Schicklegruber. 
It's a mnemonic device. 
No, not the hand grenade. That's just a normal hand grenade. Just… don't get it wrong this time!

Will they accidentally have sex with Carl's cousin? Cause, you know, there's an app for that now. In Iceland.

Same thing at their show last year in Atlanta… it kicked off with the vagina film, ended with a montage of predators' teeth. They've always had lots of vaginas and eyes in their songs, not to mention planets, galaxies, cells, insects, embryos (Embryonic, their previous album, actually echoes a song off "Transmissions…

THIS Bugler's Dream is just to meet the right woman and settle down in a moderately-priced condominium somewhere in Tampa.

It says "The Bart, The".

Did she go into the kitchen and come back wrapped in Saran?

In Soviet Russia, man irons YOU.

True, a slice of Ben Kingsley definitely enhances any gin cocktail…

Other than the dam collapse that killed thousands, the earthquake, the explosion at the lead paint factory, and the outbreak of a new strain of bird-swine flu, this is definitely the biggest disappointment that China has seen so far this year.

I'm writing a script called 
"Air Force One Down At 1600 Penn Ave." Or "One To 1600."

That's interesting. I remember reading Danse Macabre way back when and enjoying it, but I completely forgot that he mentioned this concept in it. I'll have to go back and dig it up again (I'd much rather re-read it than actually finish Under The Dome…. I skidded to a halt about halfway through it 2 years ago and it's…

Hey! Anybody here care what this guy thinks?

King started the book in 1976? Is that like the John Cage organ concerto that's taking 30,000 years to be played or something?