North DeKalb Mall, the epitome of the decaying post-apocalyptic American shopping center! OK, kinda inner-ring suburban at this point. (It was also showing at several malls in the more outer-rim suburbs as well, however)

The problem with theorists like Rushkoff is that their thesis involves taking as a given the fact that Modernism and Post-Modernism are totally new responses to culture… like we just invented irony in the 90s, and started "playing with the narrative" along with the Internet, or something.

Spraaaaaaaaang Breeeeeeeeaaaaaak! Spraaaang breeeeeaaaaak forrrrrrrever!

Saw Spring Breakers. Was impressed that such an avant-garde film was being shown in metro-megaplexes like the suburban Atl mall (where I happened to view it).  I enjoyed it and laughed at its satire, but that's to be expected because I am an amoral hipster and film geek who clearly struggles with an anti-family and…

I was thinking Chris Elliott.

I extend to you this Laurel, and Hardy handshake.

And what about so-called "Norse Gods" who occasionally still intervene in human affairs? That's gotta twist some Vatican knickers.

And get this: While Tom Hardy eats bags of puppy heads to stay fit, Benedict Cumberbatch was in fact raised AS a puppy, in a litter of five, in the wilds of South London!

Oh, the cup is already there.

Fortunately, no U.S. state has yet proposed legislation granting personhood to the vagina itself. They're usually only concerned with things that pass through it. 
In which case… Drake should think twice before he commits the crime of damaging Bynes' personal property. It may be a less serious charge than murder, but…

Listen to Electronic, The The, and The Cribs instead. (Disclaimer: I am not a diehard fan, or much of any kind of Smiths fan. So this may not give you any tips. I just can't stand Morrissey.)

Of course, if we all still worshipped Zeus, gay sex would be totally ok. As long as it was between an older male and a young adolescent boy. Um… has someone brought this to the Pope's attention?

So… hate the sin, love the hater?

I thought Recorder Burns was the second major occupational hazard of Early Music quartets after Harpsichord Lung.

"Naked Lunch. I can think of at least two things wrong with that title."

Wow… Rest in Peace Harry. You were the real star of my first surreptitiously viewed classic pornos. I didn't even fast-forward through your acting.

Me-yow, Jay! Resheath those claws, tiger! "Oh no, he di'n't!" Speak truth to power, brother! That hand-that-feeds-very-generously ain't gonna bite itself! "Pointed e-mails" my eye! Here's a quarter… Fax some talk show host who cares, amirite? Playing with fire at the razor's edge… that's what this antique car freak…

There's nothin' like locally-sourced artisanal vagina from the world-famous Ergh Farm!

One bad Courtney spoils the barrel.

Now that is the purple they mean when they speak of "Deep Purple." Also of purple sticky buds.