The Spiral is allegedly a good alternate in case the Flip Hole isn’t your style.

Getting that tattooed on my BF’s penis, brb.

The summer before I turned 13 my boobs came in and my uncle died. Because of my rapidly developing body, I didn’t have any clothes to wear to the funeral, so my mom had to take me clothes shopping. She would lose her patience with me pretty rapidly, so I ended up buying a ton of ill-fitting grey items and a bra (for…

Just this summer, my uncle died. His cremated remains were brought from his state of residence to SC for interment. The graveside service, attended only by family, was held in the middle of the day during that godawful heat wave we had. It was 108 degrees. Three generations of my family stood around in our Sunday…

I basically babbled. Something along the lines of, “I’m so glad he has such an open minded and loving family, but I’m not a sex worker and I really only know him from the amazing stories my new coworkers tell me. I’m so sorry for your loss, and I’m sure I would’ve loved him but maybe not that way but maybe that way…

So a week after I started this job, a guy who no longer worked at the publication I worked for died in a car accident. I never met him, and he was a copy editor so it wasn’t like I was familiar in any way with him through what he wrote.
But nevertheless, the EOC said everyone needed to go. So I went. And somehow the…

He calls himself a lifesaver, I call him pimple-popper MD!

I must forewarn – this story is kinda grim.

Once, my mom and dad told us they were giving us the house for the weekend while they were taking a cruise. I was 18 and I was going to have friends over. It was going to be a fantastic weekend!

High fives for similarly dirty minds!

Especially on the table. Heyyy-o.

Get your romance running

Anyone who thinks they are too good to try it should cum off their high horse.

My guess is any one of these which are gifs I have tagged as jerks:

Bless my soul have I got a story!

I’ve got a few of my own, but I’m telling my brother’s because it’s/he’s fucking boss.

Girl scout camp in the 90s. We were supposed to be orienteering, and my troop went rogue when we named ourselves the amazons, found a ken doll, and sacrificed it in the name of feminism. Yes, I was a misandrist before it was cool

What do you think it was like when Trump first met Cohen? I picture a falling away and crumbling of the office walls, and them standing in a sunlit, daisy strewn meadow, gazing in disbelief at the other half of their true heart. Then they run through the grass together and slaughter a unicorn.

The Japanese really do have everything.

It never ceases to amaze me that these Teahadist idiots keep bringing up the Nazis; they should be doing everything than can to AVOID mentioning them. I think the comparison is unbelievably crass and insulting for any group that isn’t actively engaged in genocide, but since these morons insist on bringing them up…