Recently, I was flying back home to take care of my sister after she had been in a pretty bad accident. I chatted briefly with the woman next to me, exchanging stories and small talk and told her as much. Cut to the flight where there is some of the worst turbulence I have ever been in. So bad people are filming it…

I spent a seven hour flight stuck next to a cruise ship magician who was like Gob from arrested development but without the suave charm goodness of heart. He negged me constantly and kept mentioning that his “hot Lebanese wife” told him to go out and have sex with anyone he wanted because she as six months pregnant…

Have you ever seen Barbarella?

Star. Since Kinja won’t let me recommend more than 1 reply I am testing my limits.

Personally I can’t talk about a few of my exes. Because when you invoke the name of a demon they tend to materialize out of thin air.

Okay, the Slutty Poppins:

HEY THAT’S ME! I MADE THAT! True life, I cried a little bit when I got it in the mail, and I’m pretty sure I’ve never seen my father look at me with such pride.

Huh, you don’t usually see KY preventing gay couples from coming together.

There are some people who enjoy pain during intercourse. However, it’s very important to find out what kind of pain before just slamming in. Some people like the stretching; some people like the pounding; some people like both; some people like something I haven’t mentioned (because I can’t think of it at the moment.)…

BUT YOU CAN’T BUY SPELLS ON ETSY ANYMORE SO WHERE DID SHE GET HER CRAFT?!

3 years ago now i had an epic hookup at a music festival, not a wedding, or else i’d be shouting that story to the heavens in this thread. (Spoiler: he used to be a BDSM escort with his ex-wife in Germany. He knew THINGS.) Anyway, i had to walk home a mile in Montreal on a Sunday morning through Mont Royal Park in a…

Wedding in Israel, on a kibbutz in the middle of nowhere (well, as much as you can be in the middle of nowhere in Israel, it’s a small place). I’m at a singles table of three women and eight men, I’m not feeling particularly interested in any of them, but then one of them remarks to my friend that he works in his…

My cat, who once opened a microwave oven while the popcorn was popping, has more self-control than the caramel lady.

My cat, who once destroyed a floor-to-ceiling lamp with her butt, has more self-control than the caramel lady.

My cat, who once fell off a bookshelf at 3 AM only to land butt-first on my face (catass…

Let me take a moment to pimp Full House Reviewed, which exhaustively reviews each and every episode of this shitty, shitty show. It’s hilarious, although it’s a giant time suck.

You’re awesome. :)

She’ll be ok, I think. There’s a whole lotta prayin’ goin’ on, but also shit tons of rituximab, so bases are covered. I’m glad your sister got better.

This was a really, really interesting read for me and I’m glad you got to share it with us. For some reason BDSM makes my lady bits want to sew themselves together and take the rest of my body to a nunnery. I read the first Anne Rice Beauty book out of curiosity and was so disturbed (in a bad way) that I had…

you are the evidence russia needs.

My husband and I met in college at University of California Santa Cruz and their mascot is the banana slug. We thought it appropriate that our likenesses were slugi-fied on our wedding cake. My husband’s goatee and my classes set off the differences between the two (also my husband is very tall and I rather short and…