Whipped Greek yogurt is my jam these days — I’ve sometimes sweetened it with maple syrup instead of sugar and that’s fantastic (though it slumps rather quickly). I recently put it on top of a maple-nutmeg cream pie and, a few weeks later, an apple dutch baby. 

This year has been so fucked that Aug. 2019 feels like it was simultaneously a week and a century ago.

Oo, G&T sorbet... time to buy your own ice cream maker and start experimenting, perhaps? See if you can recapture the magic on your own. (Sorbets are generally pretty easy to make, and the alcohol should keep it from setting up like a block of ice.)

My paste tomatoes have been coming ripe one or two at a time; I’ve just been chucking them into the freezer as they ripen so I can make them into sauce all at once when I’ve accumulated enough. Good to know it’ll save me some time, too!

I have a sleeve of biscoffs in my pantry right now — I’m gonna use them as the crust for a cheesecake, and it’s going to be fantastic. Though the choice between Biscoff and Stroopwafels on United Airlines flights is a hard one! 

If your Walmart or other local grocery/farm goods store has a canning supply section, probably there. (I’ve spotted citric acid at Ace Hardware before, even.) Or order it online.

Only one way to find out, I suppose! But I suspect yes — presumably they can just dump in whatever chemical flavoring agent gummy SPKs use.

I’ve noticed a bizarre number of Sour Patch Kids products lately, including a cereal and an ice cream (both at Walmart) and I gotta say... they just don’t appeal at all. I like a Sour Patch Kid, but the things that make them good seem like they wouldn’t translate to another format. You’ve gotta have that crust of…

I realized how fucked up corporal punishment was as a young teen — tasked with keeping an eye on my eight-years-younger sister (she’d have been 7-ish) during a family vacation, I grabbed her arm too hard and pulled her along a path (out of a semi-dangerous situation) and apparently bruised her arm. It was exactly the…

Sonic’s soft serve has the texture of wet tissues. 

I might be too late but: Zucchini quesadillas (topped with guac) are the love of my life.

Honestly that’s smart. Chanterelles are one of the safest — basically the only toxic US lookalike is the jack-o-lantern, which actually looks and grows pretty differently. But even then it took me quite a while before I was confident enough in my ID skills to actually pick and eat ‘em.

Mushrooms really, really, REALLY aren’t “all pretty much edible.” And there are no easy rules-of-thumb about edibility in mushrooms — you really, truly need ID exactly which ‘shroom you have and double and triple-check your results.

It is about a socialist, anti-family political movement that encourages women to leave their husbands, kill their children, practice witchcraft, destroy capitalism and become lesbians

I saw (the first 20 minutes or so of) Jumanji when I was just a little too young — right before I’d developed enough media literacy to know that a mostly-happy ending is inevitable in kids’ movies. It didn’t exactly scare me, but I was pretty sure those kids were gonna get murdered by wild animals and I didn’t want to…

That’s smart — I have a nice food processor now and could whip up so much of it at a time. (If I had a spice grinder I’d use that, but I don’t.) ‘Til now, I’ve been buying (plain, unflavored) popcorn salt, which is just extra-fine salt. A container lasts basically forever.

I can’t side with you on oatmeal raisin (though oatmeal cranberry or oatmeal-cherry are acceptable) but oatmeal scotchies... that’s where it’s at. They’re my go-to cookie for potluck situations or visiting family over the holidays, and I’ve never met someone who didn’t like ‘em once they tried ‘em.

Protip for next time: Lay down a sheet, grab a rope, tie a rock or something to one end, sling it up around a branch and shake the shit outta the branch. Much easier than picking through the grass! 

this one is my favorite.... what a wonderful weirdo

Beware -- adult cats are lactose intolerant and can get horrible shits if given too much milk (or ice cream, or fresh cheese, or...). Ask me how I know :(