Oh jesus. You’ve reminded me of a truly godawful dream I had. in the dream, I woke from a drugged haze to find a family member having anal sex with me. I cringe every time that person touches me now and I’d managed to bury that dream so deep in my memory that I’d forgotten why. fuck. I might need therapy.

Oh shit I remembered a better one.

This was in perhaps eighth grade, and I’d had zilch in the way of sexual experiences, not even a kiss—hell, I hadn’t even masturbated. But the horny teenage body works in mysterious ways, and so one night, I bumped into my long-time crush (a nerdy redhead who, in real life, eventually came out as gay. I never had a…

Mom?

And Christians think that BDSM is fucked up? Holy shit. Holy shitting shit.

Well said.

I’m actually envious of these folks—I get $60 a *semester* as copy chief at my uni.

I... wow. I work at my own university’s newspaper as copy chief. Since it’s a rather conservative school, I regularly have to edit pieces with which I deeply disagree. Often these pieces are also poorly written and argued. But the 0p-ed section is meant to be a forum for student opinions, so unless it’s so hateful,…

Oo! The first guy I made out with (and then some) was a good friend. We’d previously decided not to do the dating thing, so it was pretty well understood on both sides that it was just FWB. I was shit at kissing. Kept bumping noses. Didn’t even use tongue. We kinda went through an awkward patch after that where we…

I ate cheap Chinese food, and because it’s cold outside, it tasted goddamn delicious. ‘Bout to brew up some Earl Grey and study bone processes and foramens and shtuff.

Heavens, yes. Those temples alone! Just exquisite.

Nah. Made of Pyrex-type glass, and have the advantage of being hard, nonporous, super easy to clean, and great for temperature play. Also, surprisingly affordable—the Icicles line by Pipedreams is phenomenally well-priced. Might I recommend the No. 48?

I mean, there are two testicles. *boop boop*

True fact: during one of the first handjobs I ever attempted, I resorted to the Konami code. It... didn’t work, per se, but my nerd of a bf thought it was hysterical.

that’s knot what i was looking for

Well, my ass is currently totally purple, in a sex-related way, but I wanted it that way, so. Tip for fellow masochists: Those bendy rulers (not the clear ones) somehow pack more wallop than a belt. Good times.

Congratulations and felicitations to you! And my gosh what an excellent choice for a destination wedding.

I’m fully expecting artisan handmade condoms (made from the cecum of free-range sheep) to start turning up on Etsy now

I was going to star you, but it’s got 69 stars right now and I just can’t bring myself to spoil that, so here’s a comment instead.

I got my manfellow a Spiral at the beginning of the summer, since we were going to be apart for pretty long chunks of time. He’s really enjoyed it, and it cost a heck of a lot less than the Flip Hole would’ve. (Then again, he’d never owned a masturbation sleeve before, so grain of salt and all that.)